THE BLOG
09/29/2015 10:43 am ET Updated Sep 29, 2016

10 Reasons Your Life Has Gone Quiet

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It's all gotten a little too still as of late, right? It's as if the world is continuing on as it did, but you're no longer in its sway; like there's been a city-wide blackout -- that's only affecting you. Texts aren't pouring in like they used to; work is less inspiring; friends seem perpetually busy; health issues are taking a toll; dreams have yet to be realized; love remains elusive; and serendipity feels as if it's happening to everybody else.

Suddenly, everything is just very... quiet.

After a life filled with so much movement, meaning and adventure, it feels as if something has gone very, very awry. Things aren't clicking like they used to, and you can't get it back -- almost like you've forgotten the feeling for the rhythm to the beat of your favorite song. The harder you try, the more exhausted you become. The more you push, the more you remain exactly where you are. Since you're not moving forward, it feels as if you're being left behind. And right about now, you feel about as consequential as a hoot in the dark at midnight. Now here you sit here alone with yourself -- a stranger you realized you don't really even know.

Yes, I know. WTF?

Despite all appearances and feelings to the contrary, what's happening is actually a hell of a lot. The universe is bringing everything to a standstill in order to conspire to help you become the person you were meant to be. But you have not chosen the easy way. This is the kicking and screaming route since you've proven thus far that you wouldn't or couldn't make the necessary changes yourself. Your life has gone quiet at this moment because it's time to hear your voice above everyone else's. It's gone quite because you've been listening to everything out there and nothing in inside. It's gone quiet because you need to figure out a way to get back to your most authentic self. It's gone quiet so you can consider all of the above.

I know how it feels like a slow death, all this time to fill without people or plans. But consider yourself lucky. In this time of quietude, you can choose to do some renovations, emotional, spiritual or physical, or a combination of the three, and become the best version of yourself. Or not. This decision is entirely up to you. Which is the scary part. But staying where you are is a far scarier proposition, is it not? Because the way you've been going about it has stopped working -- so you can get at it, look at it, acknowledge it, let it go and accept that you are here. Which is where exactly?

You are on the precipice of change. And, like it or not, there is no turning back.

It's very possible you're entirely unaware that you need to make changes, or you know you need to make changes but can't pinpoint what they are. So I'm sharing a few from 'the reasons my life went quiet playbook' in hopes that they might strike a chord:

1. Understand that the armor you put on to get through childhood no longer helps you in your adult life.

2. Take your armor off with people who have earned your trust, one piece at a time.

3. Make your gifts your actual life's work.

4. Learn to think with your heart.

5. Become friends with the quiet times, because there will be more.

6. Figure out how to help others through the most genuine expression of yourself.

7. Put your needs first.

8. See to your health and fuck everything else.

9. Focus on your own problems instead of fixing other people's.

10. Accept responsibility for the choices that you got you here.

If any of the above stirred something in you, take note. It means change is coming. You can let it wash over you like a warm breeze, or you can resist it -- though your life will remain just as it, no matter how hard you fight. But this is something you already knew. You wouldn't have kept reading this far if you hadn't.