I didn't drop out of school. I didn't chop my hair off. I didn't lose my mind. However, I did stop apologizing for who I am. There is a fine line between caring about your reputation and your good name and changing your likes and dislikes due to fear of persecution. Coming from someone who spent the better part of my 21 years trying to be someone I wasn't, I can without a doubt say that the day I stopped caring was the day that everything began to fall into place.
Here are the beautiful things that happen when you stop apologizing for who you are:
1) You start to delve into things that you really love: I used to buy clothes and pretend to listen to some music because I cared that much about what people thought of me. Can you imagine listening to music that you don't even like just because you want to impress someone? Miserable. Can you imagine not doing things that you want to do because other people wouldn't approve? Awful. I started buying clothes that made me happy and not because i thought someone else would approve. I started going to the movies by myself, which is absolutely the most amazing thing you can do for yourself.
2) You learn to not be so judgmental: I can proudly say that i am neither a republican nor a democrat, i cannot stand the song "Happy," and I am a huge supporter of gay marriage. You and me could be completely opposite in all of those things, but it's okay because differences are what make this world so amazing. That leads me to my next point....You and me could be different in all three of the previously mentioned areas, but we can still be friends because i no longer judge people based on their opinions, likes, and dislikes. So we don't agree on something. Who cares? You are still a human being, and i may not understand why you think something but that doesn't mean you don't deserve the same respect that someone who agrees with me deserves.
3) The right people begin to surround you: When you begin to act the way you want to act, dress the way you want to dress, and girl crush all over certain people, people with similar likes will flock towards you. It's almost as if you never have to search for a meaningful friendship again because when you do what you love other people who accept you will radiate towards you. Be who you are and the right people will be there. That is the truth. I came to see a certain relationship in my life as too toxic to bother with anymore. If you feel that way about any relationship in your life, let it go. Let it go because either you will move on without them and learn to be happy or they will care enough to cultivate the friendship to work again.
4) You do things because you want to do them: I started my blog for me. I want to express my thoughts about life and fashion and beauty and travel any way that i want to. I did this for me to have something new to excite me. I dye my hair because i love the happy change that it gives me. I buy loads of pizza and champagne and stay home and watch movies sometimes because that makes me happy. Sometimes i get super dressed up and go out. Whatever i do, i do it because it benefits me and makes me happy in some way. Do things because you want to do them.
5) You fall in love with being alive: Every little thing you do is for your benefit, so you start to see things in a new light. Instead of being bummed that you have class in the morning, be thankful that you can afford to go to school to follow your dreams. Instead of being upset that you have to walk really far from your parking spot, be happy that you get to enjoy the beauty around you and that can walk to enjoy those things. We are so blissfully unaware of how lucky we are. It is a curse to be so lucky sometimes because we take every single thing for granted. Even things like being able to see your loved ones or being able to hear music. Revel in the beauty and fall in love with being alive every day.
Learn to let go of the judgment and fall in love with life today.