02/03/2012 07:15 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

Adriana Lima Super Bowl Ad: The Most Absurd Super Bowl Ad Yet?

Give her flowers, get sex in return. It's that simple, right? According to Teleflora's Super Bowl spot, released February 2nd, yes.

The ad depicts bombshell supermodel Adriana Lima (of Victoria's Secret fame) putting on her evening wear in the most seductive way in the history of getting dressed. She pulls on her stockings in one smooth motion (physically impossible, am I right? How do they not snag on her toes at least once?), buckles her garter, slips on her red-soled heels and spends a few seconds showing off her cleavage in the mirror and sexy-smirking at the flower arrangement on her dresser.

She then delivers the spot's kicker:

"Guys, Valentine's Day is not that complicated. Give and you shall receive."

Anyone else left with more than a bad taste in their mouth?

All the apparent swarms of men out there trying to figure out how to get the stifling, expensive faux-romance of Valentine's Day to actually lead to sex now have a brilliant answer -- buy some (ugly) flowers from Teleflora! And treat your significant other as an object you have to manipulate into having sex with you while you're at it.

I'm pretty sure that most couples don't see their relationships as quite so transactional. And beyond the shallow assumptions made about men in the ad (why don't we ever seem to give guys the credit they deserve when it comes to interacting with women romantically?), Teleflora is delivering a pretty dangerous message -- that if women have been given a gift or taken out for the night, they owe the giver something sexual in return.

When women sleep with their boyfriends, husbands or casual Valentine's dates, they do so because it's a pleasurable experience for both parties involved -- floral arrangements are pretty irrelevant.