Today is a very special day because Sexy Confidence has hit 100,000 subscribers on YouTube.
Our growth over the past year has been astronomical and I couldn't have done it without you.
So to celebrate this milestone, I've created a video for you that shares an "insider" look into how I started Sexy Confidence from scratch.
Watch 10 Essential Steps to Succeeding in Life, Love and Business (100K YouTube Subscriber Special!)
Believe it or not, you'll also get some critical love lessons in this video. Leave a comment below letting me know which of the 10 steps to success you'll be working on this year.
Summary -
1. Quitting is not always a failure
... usually it's a stepping stone to something much, much bigger.
I'll never forget the day that I was done working for a startup software company. I was on a business trip to visit one of our biggest new clients and I was with the CEO of the company. The CEO decides to go into the meeting and lie to the client. He tells him things that were complete BS. After the meeting I sat down with my CEO and told him I was done. It was at that moment that I set my trajectory to becoming a professional speaker and a dating coach. Sounds a little crazy, but it's true.
2. Don't be entitled to success
Add value first, prove yourself, and good things will come.
We live in a time when everyone wants to be the next big thing, but no one wants to work for it. You've got to get off your ass and do something... whether it's finding love, getting that healthy relationship you want, finding that job you absolutely love, or getting into shape. Whatever it is, it won't just come to you. You need to get off your butt and go make it happen.
I remember before I got my first paid speaking engagement... I gave over 30 speeches across Massachusetts just get enough video to create my submission video for the paid gig.
You've got to give value before you get value.
3. You're going to suck at anything the first time you do it
My first paid speaking engagement was for 500 bucks at a high school. It was more than I'd ever gotten before, so I was pumped. I gave the speech and thought it was pretty good. After the speech I got a call to go into the principal's office. He told me that it was the most inappropriate speech that he'd ever heard and that I was not the type of person that should be speaking at high schools. He proceeded to say that I was inappropriately dressed and should really give up on my career.
4. Find your support system and mentors
There's really only been a handful of people who have stood by my side over the past few years as I've put Sexy Confidence together... my mom, my dad, my brother (who has mentored me and supported me every step of the way) and as of recent years my girlfriend, Jessica.
The reality is, anytime you're doing something big in your life most people are going to make fun of you, or are not going to understand what it is that you're doing. They may even distance themselves stay, but that's okay. Don't waste your time explaining what you're trying to do, just move on and do it. If they make fun of you, then leave them. Let them enjoy their lame lives while you go off and do something a little bit crazy and amazing.
5. Destroy your comfort zone
If you're doing something really big in this world, you're not only going to be stretching your comfort zone... you'll be absolutely demolishing it! No one knows how many times I've been so nervous before a video, speech, event etc. For example, when I was coaching men and had to approach random women in front of a guy I was coaching. These are the things that absolutely destroy your comfort zone. This is true for anyone who does anything significant in their lives. They're going to have to leave their comfort zone and do something really, really big.
6. Don't be afraid to shift courses even if you're getting successful
I remember when I was coaching men and my business was absolutely blowing up. I had a ton of coaching clients and some guys paying me over 10 thousand dollars to work with them. But I didn't see a future in it.
I realized that I didn't want to be spend the rest of my life teaching guys how to go out and meet women. I wanted to have my own healthy relationship and not be subjected to go out and coach every single weekend. So I decided to shift course... and that's when I decided that I was going to really dive into coaching women. I would take all the knowledge that I had accrued over the years and help women be able to meet men and find love. That's really when I started to dive into Sexy Confidence.
7. If you shift directions you're probably going to start sucking again
Don't quit! When I started Sexy Confidence I left this amazing business I had created for coaching men, and decided I would start all over again by coaching women. At first I was a little cocky... I thought this was going to be an easy process, but ultimately I was starting over.
I was starting with a whole new gender, women. Trying to understand exactly what it is they wanted to learn about and what it is they wanted to hear about was a whole new process. I've got to admit, when I first started creating videos for women I sucked. Things didn't exactly go viral. I even got to a point where I had to downgrade my life. I had to downsize everything because I had sunk so much into this new process. Thankfully, I always had the vision of what I was trying to create. So, I kept moving forward in order to make it happen.
8. Listen to feedback
The only way to succeed at anything in life is to know, without a shadow of a doubt, that you know nothing. Listen to the people that you serve. If you're in a relationship, listen to your partner. If you're trying to lose weight, listen to your trainer. If you're trying to start a business, listen to your customers. Don't give them what you think they should have, but what they want to have. Read the comments, listen to complaints, learn your weaknesses and improve on them.
9. Stay committed to your vision
As things with Sexy Confidence started to ramp up, I got over 8 television inquiries to be a host and many other opportunities to stray away from my vision. I looked at all of those offers as being total distractions. I stayed consistent and continued to build Sexy Confidence into what it is today, and I will continue to build Sexy Confidence into the vision I see it for tomorrow.
10. Never assume that success will make you happy... it's the journey
When I look back, the most fun and exciting days were creating stupid videos back in my shitty apartment with nothing but a vision. Or getting on stage in front of thousands of people while being absolutely terrified because I had no idea what I was doing. Those were the fun days. Don't get me wrong, I'm still having fun today... but those were so exciting.
What I caution everyone to do while you're trying to build something great and trying to succeed, is to enjoy the moment. Enjoy every single step along the way, because once you arrive at success it's not going to always be as sweet as you think. It's all about the journey.
Lastly, thank you to everyone who has continued to support Sexy Confidence over the past few years. I'm going to continue to serve you, and continue to make Sexy Confidence the highest quality platform in the world for women who want to create a love life they absolutely love!
In return, I need you to take one step towards success in an area of your life. Whether it's dating, relationships, health, wealth... whatever it is, step outside of your comfort zone and do something really big with your life! If I can create Sexy Confidence then you can do whatever it is you want in your life.
You're the rare type of person who believes in self development. The type of person who believes that you can do anything, and that's why you're here. Not many people will take the time out of their day to learn something new... so now is the time to find that thing that really excites you and go make it happen! I'll be here every single step of the way to support and guide you. This journey has been incredible and it is only just beginning!
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Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
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