My husband is very protective of his email passwords. He is always on Facebook. And, he constantly leaves his cell phone in the car, plus it's locked. I suspect he is cheating on me. But are there any signs that I can look for before I accuse him of this?
-Campbell, Miami, FL
We often get questions from our AskMattAndTamsen readers asking for signs of cheating. While no person or relationship is the same, there are a few tell tale signs that you can look for to try and determine if your partner is straying.
1.Too Much Of A Good Thing Is Bad
This is a classic sign of cheating. It may sound weird, but if your man is too attentive, showers you with love, affection and especially gifts, he may be the cheating kind. This is not to say that every attentive man is seeing someone behind your back, but if his affection is out of the ordinary, over the top and all consuming, you may want to keep an extra eye on him
2. New Music, New Cologne, New Attitude
If you man is suddenly rocking out to JT, wearing a new scent and is all of a sudden the life of the party (when he was once Mr. Shy Guy) he may be straying. Often times, men take on new behavior or the likes of the person they are trying to impress and striving to be with.
3. He Accuses You
This is one of those classic signs of cheating: he accuses you of straying. This happens because he is over ridden with guilt and is projecting his feelings onto you.
4. His Phone Is Off Or Off Limits
If you do not have access to your mate's phone or he turns it off or is very private and jumpy when rings, he most likely has something to hide. A man with no "strange on the side" is not worried about who's calling.
5. He Likes To Fight
This is again due to guilt and the fact he is trying to give himself an excuse for his bad behavior. He is fighting with you so he can justify the fact he is seeing someone else, telling himself, "I am not happy in my relationship, she picks on me, therefore it's OK to get attention elsewhere."
6. I Don't Want Your Sex
Your sex life comes to a screeching halt. If you can't remember the last time you had sex, it's a pretty good indication that he is getting it somewhere else.
7. New Friends Could Be Your Enemy
All of a sudden your mate starts talking a lot about a "new friend at work" someone he met "at the gym" or a "neighbor who is nice." This is not a one time mention but a person he constantly refers to in conversation.
8. He Is Unreliable
He comes home late from works, leaves early for the gym and doesn't always answer his phone. Inconsistencies like these can make for a bad bed partners and are another sign he may be seeing someone else.
9. He Protects Friends Who Cheat
'You are the company you keep' rings true in this case. If you man protects his friends who cheat by lying for them and helping them with cover stories, chances are they are doing the same for him.
10. Gut Check
No, you are not being paranoid, sometimes you just know. If you feel it in your gut, it could very well be your man is straying from home. Don't dismiss the smell of perfume on his jacket, the mysterious phone calls to your home or the sudden late hours at the office.