This post was originally published on Haute Talk.
"If I come, do I have to wear heels?" This is my motto before getting ready for any kind of social occasion, and the answer to this question pretty much determines whether or not I'll be leaving my room that night.
Let's be real. There is very little, if ANYTHING, good about wearing high heels. Sure, heels make your legs look longer and skinnier, and you instantly look like you have your life at least slightly under control if you're sporting a classy pair of high heels. But, I implore you to ask yourself as you read this article, is it really worth it?! This video by Youtuber Akilah Hughes also sums up our feelings pretty accurately. So, ladies, scroll through this article and commiserate with me over the never-ending struggle that comes with wearing high heels.
1. Coming to the realization that you're going to have to wear heels:
If you're under 5'3" (like me), then you know that a night out means that you will be doing the I-don't-really-know-how-to-walk-in-these-shoes stumble all night long, unless you want to look like a middle schooler next to your taller/heel-clad friends.
2. Convincing yourself that your heels aren't as uncomfortable as you remember them being:
Sure, the last time I wore these heels I ended up with bloody feet and chanced catching various diseases by walking through the streets of Manhattan barefoot, but this time will definitely be different. (Spoiler alert: It won't be.)
3. Taking those first few practice steps & feeling on top of the world:
After putting on heels, there is an approximate 10-20 beautiful minutes of pure comfort and confidence. "This isn't too bad at all!," you think to yourself. Why were you freaking out about wearing high heels?! You look AND feel great.
4. The pain starts to kick in:
Hmm, this is starting to get a little bit uncomfortable, but it's nothing I can't handle! Maybe I'll just stand in this corner and avoid walking for a little while...
5. Questioning how inappropriate it would be to remove your shoes
I mean, everyone around me is wearing their shoes, but is it really that weird if I take them off?
OK, yep. This is the end.
7. Looking at the women around you in heels and thinking, HOW are they doing this?!
Are they secretly suffering just as much as I am? Or are they actually enjoying walking around with their foot at a wildly uncomfortable angle? I need to know.
8. When you would rather do anything in the world but take another step
Well, if anyone needs me, I'll be hovering in this corner questioning why I ever thought high heels would be a good decision.
9.
That's it, you're walking home barefoot.
Screw social norms. THIS IS THE BEST FEELING EVER. (Or even worse, when your heels are so uncomfortable and you've been wearing them for so long that taking them off actually hurts more. Why, cruel world?)
10. Vowing to yourself that you will NEVER put a high heel on your foot again.
...& then promptly repeating this process the next time you go out, because you enjoy torturing yourself for some reason.
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