(HONORING THE LIFE AND LEGACY OF PRINCE, 1958 - 2016)
Blessing our children is as old as Genesis: Jacob blessed his twelve grown sons before his death (Gen: 49). Jacob knew that he was nearing his end. We are not all so fortunate.
As I write this month's Tips, I'm remembering Prince and the blessings he so generously shared planet-wide. His death on April 21, 2016, was a surprise to the world and maybe to Prince too, though that we'll never know. Since the age of 15, he worked tirelessly to leave his prolific legacy of music and love for the world. Yesterday I read his words indicating his understanding of legacy: "My fans bring their sons and daughters to my shows now... I hope to be an inspiration to those people." Few knew the private part of his life, in which he was committed to anonymously bless (help) others who were hurting. Prince was quoted, saying, "Compassion is an action word with no boundaries."
I just finished reading Paul Kalanithi's 2015 moving memoir, When Breath Becomes Air. A neurosurgeon, he wrote this blessing to his newborn daughter, Cady, before he died at age 37: "When you come to one of the many moments in life where you must give an account of yourself, provide a ledger of what you have been, and done, and meant to the world, do not, I pray, discount that you filled a dying man's days with a sated joy, a joy unknown to me in all my prior years, a joy that does not hunger for more and more but rests, satisfied." Kalanithi, like Jacob, was fortunate to know he was dying.
... above all, see what it is to still live,
to profoundly influence the lives of others
after you are gone, by your words.- Abraham Verghese
Blessings are at the core of legacy writing. Just a few of the opportunities to write blessings at this time of year include Mothers' Day, new babies, confirmations, graduations, and of course Fathers' Day, the weddings and anniversaries of June. Legacy blessings can also be written to recognize and acknowledge those we know who are hurting, having lost a loved one, or to support those we care about who have had a difficult diagnosis, a loss of job, or other life loss. Because we may be among those unfortunate not to know that we are actively dying, I urge you to bless those you love and future generations NOW while you can.
Suggestions for Action
1. To prepare, write a list of the occasions of this season that your family members, friends, colleagues, and community are celebrating or grieving, noting the dates and the addresses you'll need.
2. Prioritize the list by date, with the nearest in time first, and farthest out in time at the end.
3. Reflect about what you love, admire, and cherish about the person you are going to write the blessing to/for. Reflect too about the occasion for the blessing.
[A blessing] can be executed with all the delight,
whimsy, and spontaneity of which we are capable
and still be a moment in which the gift of ourselves
flows to another
with a depth that only spirit can provide ....- David Spangler
4. Draft your blessing, spending from 5 to 15 minutes writing -- no more.
5. Put the writing away for at least one day, while you find or make a beautiful card suitable for your blessing for the person and the occasion.
6. Return to the blessing to edit it, making sure that the words convey the message and meaning of your blessing. Write the finished version on your card and mail it at the appropriate moment. (Keep a copy of each blessing you write in your own legacy file, preserving a compendium of your blessings to those you love for yourself.)
May your loved ones
be nurtured, cherished and loved
by the words and intention of your blessings,
today and always.
-- Rachael Freed
Listen to my interview about Legacy
from the TransformingAging Summit at:
https://youTu.be/POfxoYr3XvU
Rachael Freed, Founder of Life-Legacies (for information, visit www.life-legacies.com), Senior Fellow at the University of Minnesota's Center for Spirituality and Healing, is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Marriage and Family Therapist. She trains and certifies Legacy facilitators internationally (online). Contact Rachael for the next facilitator training, beginning September 14, 2016.
An inspirational lecturer and workshop facilitator, she provides legacy-related programs and training for health care, philanthropic, and religious organizations, for public and non-profit corporations, and for diverse groups of individuals experiencing life transitions. Freed's latest book is "Your Legacy Matters: Harvesting the Love and Lessons of Your Life - An Intergenerational Guide for Creating Your Ethical Will". She is also the author of "Women's Lives, Women's Legacies: Passing Your Beliefs and Blessings to Future Generations" and "The Women's Legacies Workbook for the Busy Woman: A Step-by-Step Guide for Writing a Spiritual-Ethical Will in 2 Hours or Less".
Freed has trained cardiac professionals internationally to support cardiac families. The 25th Year Anniversary Edition of "Heartmates: A Guide for the Spouse and Family of the Heart Patient" was published in August, 2012 and the Third Edition of "The Heartmates Journal: A Companion for Partners of People with Heart Disease", are the only resources available to support the emotional and spiritual recovery of families coping with heart disease. For more information, visit www.heartmates.us.
Follow Rachael Freed on Twitter: www.twitter.com/legacywriter