The heart is a powerful muscle. When I work with my clients as an energy healer and life coach, I sometimes find myself having to step into the shoes of a heart surgeon. I dig deep, uncovering the layers of pain and scar tissue. I feel it in my own chest too and the weight of the past like an anchor. How much old, unforgiving pain do we store in our hearts?
The heart chakra, which is located in your chest and wrapping around to your upper back and shoulders -is the place where you give and receive love. It’s not a coincidence then that the heart hurts when you feel heart broken or you have a pain in your chest when you lose a loved one. The heart is so much more than a muscle that pumps blood to our bodies or a drawing that we color in the third grade. It’s a real, tangible place in which we open ourselves to the feelings of love.
For many of us it’s much easier to guard our hearts and keep all people out by building a high walls. You lay brick upon brick because you know what it means to be heart broken and you don’t want to experience that again. Instead you will stand alone in your heart castle, surrounded by the tallest of walls and prettiest of moats. It can look quite extravagant until you realize that you’re all alone in that castle and that feels pretty lonely.
Or perhaps you’re on the other side of this coin and you open your heart up to just about anyone, getting hurt over and over again. Perhaps you write your life story on your sleeve hoping the world will read it and tap you on the back. While it’s good to be open this over sharing and over exposure is also unhealthy. It’s a sign of someone who gives too much and doesn’t take time to receive.
In the United States someone has a heart attack ever 34 seconds. Heart disease is the number one cause of death in the U.S. and surprisingly the number one killer of women, more than any form of cancer.
We’re walking around with broken hearts. We’re holding the pain in until our hearts grow hard and tired.
What can we do to heal this pain in our chests?
1. Begin a heart journal
I ask my clients to write all the time. This is because writing is one of the truest, purest forms of therapy. It is a conversation with your soul. Start writing down painful experiences that you felt hurt your heart. Work through that pain by letting it out, slowly like releasing the pressure on a tap you will feel the emotions flood out. Use that pain to keep writing and healing. At the end of each day come to your heart journal and write down things that brought you joy that day or perhaps things that were painful. Allow the scars to heal in time.
2. Practice open body language
Do you cross your arms over your chest? Do you cross your legs? Do you even notice when your body is being defensive? We cross our arms or hold ourselves as a way to guard our hearts. “Don’t come near me,” is what we’re saying. “Don’t talk to me. Don’t come close.” Instead of being tightly wound, practice loose, open gestures. Stand with an open heart and chest exposed. Express yourself with your hands. Share yourself more with the world. Instead of thinking of old pain, be open to the possibilities of new love, new opportunities, or renewed relationships. You only live now in the present moment.
3. Allow Yourself to Receive
I find the number one block of the heart chakra is the unwillingness to receive love. We spend so much time asking, “why can’t I be in a happy relationship?” Or “why can’t I find love?” Instead we should be asking ourselves, “why can’t I receive?” And “where does this come from?”
When you were a baby you were completely helpless. We rely on our mothers and fathers to show us love. Here in the first moments and months of life we learn love. We learn receiving. If you didn’t receive, that wasn’t your fault. Now you must learn to receive as an adult. This is the journey of love. It’s all a great lesson.
So start asking yourself “do I deserve love?” The answer is yes! Open your heart, allow yourself to receive, and then step back and truly believe that love will step into your life.
When you accept yourself, let down the guarded walls, and truly call love into your life, the universe always delivers.
Here’s to a happy heart!