“The turning point of those who succeed, usually comes at the moment of some crisis, through which they are introduced to their ‘other selves.’”’
As a longtime high-achieving, motivated, go-getting entrepreneur, I lived for many years under the illusion that life was pretty much in my control.
On March 4, 2015, after a perfect pregnancy, my daughter, Maeve Evalyn, was inexplicably stillborn, shattering every paradigm I had with her beautiful, tiny, lifeless body.
In the profound grief that followed, every relationship in my life changed, including the one with my work, and I began to re-evaluate what I was choosing for my priorities, my legacy, and the one I was creating for my daughter.
As I set out to make sense of my new, upside-down world, I deeply identified with Napoleon Hill’s discussion in Think & Grow Rich of many famous figures such as Charles Dickens, Helen Keller, and Abraham Lincoln, who transmuted the deep grief of personal tragedies into lives of great positive significance.
Over the past 18 months, I’ve grabbed life with new determination and passion. I started a new company using my biggest strengths with the mission to help women know that no matter what they’ve been through, it’s possible not only to survive, but to thrive. My husband and I co-founded a non-profit to provide support to other families like us.
Here are 4 key lessons that have helped me mindfully move forward:
- Say “yes” to offers of help.
Learning interdependence and accepting help when it was offered saved me. I found myself unable to ask for help (likely a product of my lifelong insistence on independence), but suddenly saying “yes” to every offer for it.
Not long after Maeve’s passing, a client of mine wrote a newsletter article on resilience and how it’s linked to the strength of your support network. I clung to that newsletter, literally, and to that knowledge as, for the first time in my life, I watched myself choose time with people over that extra to-do item.
Sharing Maeve’s story has fulfilled my desire to ensure she is not forgotten, as well as given permission to so many who have suffered without support to feel connected. It’s true that whatever is personal is universal, and I knew this was my opportunity to be a voice for change.
Re-examining what really gave me life and energy, and giving myself permission to make time for those activities, helped me recover who I am at my core, and move forward from that energy, rather than out of obligation or exhaustion.
That whole “life is short” lesson hit home, and as I drew strength from realizing that I’d survived what psychiatrists classify as one of the worst losses, the fears of failure and what other people think, lost their power. I used that strength to take risks in life and business that I would have talked myself out of, and to enjoy the rewards that came along.
Above all, I realized I had a choice. As Charles Swindoll said, “I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it.”
You have that same choice. I invite you to make it and discover the strength on the other side.
Christine McAlister is a Business + Success Coach at Life With Passion, helping high-achieving, motivated women rediscover their unique gifts and create freedom-based businesses. Connect with her in her private Facebook community, Life With Passion Society, and check out her pregnancy & infant loss non-profit, Miles With Maeve.
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
It's Another Trump-Biden Showdown — And We Need Your Help
The Future Of Democracy Is At Stake
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
Your Loyalty Means The World To Us
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
The 2024 election is heating up, and women's rights, health care, voting rights, and the very future of democracy are all at stake. Donald Trump will face Joe Biden in the most consequential vote of our time. And HuffPost will be there, covering every twist and turn. America's future hangs in the balance. Would you consider contributing to support our journalism and keep it free for all during this critical season?
HuffPost believes news should be accessible to everyone, regardless of their ability to pay for it. We rely on readers like you to help fund our work. Any contribution you can make — even as little as $2 — goes directly toward supporting the impactful journalism that we will continue to produce this year. Thank you for being part of our story.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
It's official: Donald Trump will face Joe Biden this fall in the presidential election. As we face the most consequential presidential election of our time, HuffPost is committed to bringing you up-to-date, accurate news about the 2024 race. While other outlets have retreated behind paywalls, you can trust our news will stay free.
But we can't do it without your help. Reader funding is one of the key ways we support our newsroom. Would you consider making a donation to help fund our news during this critical time? Your contributions are vital to supporting a free press.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our journalism free and accessible to all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. Would you consider becoming a regular HuffPost contributor?
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. If circumstances have changed since you last contributed, we hope you'll consider contributing to HuffPost once more.
Support HuffPostAlready contributed? Log in to hide these messages.