A wedding is an emotional high point. The romance of that special day cannot be expected to last -- or can it? Perhaps not in the same form, but amplified it can be.
How? The nature of love is expansive. Challenges that a couple meets make way for greater love, much as sun follows a rainstorm and green looks brighter in the countryside.
As a celebrant officiating weddings for international families, I assist a couple to establish the foundation for the future they are embarking on together, I invite them to choose vows that are meaningful for them. Promises need to include managing yourself, especially during those stressful times when love's ardor may weaken.
Strengths and qualities like patience, tolerance, keeping a sense of humor will deepen love when you are feeling most vulnerable. Vulnerable has the meaning both of being blessed and wounded. In vulnerable moments, it is better to share blessings, not wounds, in order to awaken to more of your love.
For some couples, their first year of marriage is the most challenging. And yet that first year may be when you create greater bonds of real love with each other.
Here are five keys to help you grow your love. If you are not already married, you may find in these keys pointers to assist you in writing your vows.
1. Build trust. When you agree to do something, follow through and complete it. Completing your commitments builds a sense of self-worth. Make only the promises you intend to keep.
2. Communicate. Talk, and listen to each other. There is a saying that as we have two ears and one mouth, we need to listen twice as much as we talk. Discuss issues that show up, being kind with each other, and open to another point of view.
3. Develop Generosity of Spirit. Be willing to give -- and receive. Let go of hurts or resentment with forgiveness. Forgive your own shortcomings. Be compassionate with yourself, and your loved one.
4. Grow the Value. Appreciate your spouse, and your marriage. Acknowledge the accomplishments you each make. To appreciate means both to be grateful, and to increase value. Grow a greater sense of value and self-worth - in you and your loved one. Express appreciation for the gift of your beloved.
5. Have fun -- continue the courtship. You will always find more to love in your spouse. Laugh, play, touch -- keep your love alive. Enjoy a weekly date night. Keep the spark bright. As evolving beings, we never stay the same. The journey of marriage is an adventure. Explore and discover the newness in each other as it reveals itself to you, sometimes in surprising moments.
Any new beginning starts with a clear intention. How would you like to be experiencing love in your marriage on your first anniversary? How can you be creative and explore new avenues for expressing your love? If you could be more adventurous in your partnership, what would that look and feel like? How could you be more giving -- and receiving?
Your wedding day is truly a wonderful new beginning. Life may well deliver its opportunities to refine and deepen your love. No doubt you will discover on your marriage journey your own ways to grow the love you have for each other.
How has your love grown since your wedding day? I would love to hear.
Please contact me at weddingceremonies@mac.com