1. Ghosting
This term has gotten a lot of negative attention in the dating world. When we stop all communication with someone, it can hurt their feelings and seem like we are emotionally immature. But this technique can also be necessary in many situations. If you have tried to politely break ties with a person and they continue to call, text, email, try to talk to you on the street etc, ghosting someone may be the only option you have. There are many people who are simply obsessed with power and control and you being an individual who gets to decide when, where and how to interact with others makes no sense to them. If you respond to a text to be polite they will insist on meeting up or even throw an insult your way to try and get back at you for their feelings of rejection.
2. The Break-up
The term “break-up” may sound like we are talking about a couple who has decided not to date anymore. But we can have a formal break-up conversation with anyone - a family member, friend, client, colleague, lover etc. During a break up conversation, the other person may feel hurt, rejected, disappointed, sad, angry or surprised. We may say things like, “I simply don’t feel respected in this relationship and think it would be best if we don’t spend time together anymore,” “I feel we are moving in different directions and it is best if we end things now,” etc. It is important that we stay centered and focused in such a conversation because the other person may try to change our mind by promising to be nicer, dismiss what we are saying entirely or get angry and tell us everything they have never liked about us. But remember that if a person is worth having a second try with, they will be emotionally mature enough to accept what you have to say, take some time to think about it and request to see you a week or two later to talk about it when you have both had some time apart.
3. The Transition
Transitioning is a wonderful method of moving away from a person or group if you are not ready for confrontation. If you eat lunch with someone everyday at work and decide you don’t want to anymore, you can make other plans more and more often until you no longer feel obligated to hang out with them. This approach allows for minimal hurt feelings and seems natural enough to the other person that they just start spending time with a different person or group as well. This method works especially great with families, religious/spiritual groups, work colleagues etc. where we might feel more social pressure to be like everyone else and the emergence of a conflict could put us in a group bullying situation.
4. Walking Away
Sometimes walking away is the best way. Usually walking away is accompanied by some kind of realization - like when we realize we will never be “good enough,” understood, valued, acknowledged, respected, appreciated or accepted by a person or group. This can feel very lonely and disappointing but letting people go, ultimately is the best way to meet new people who you have more connection with. It is important that we have space in our life to fill with magic, meaning and wonder. When we walk away, we don’t know what will come next, but we do know that we have decided that having better relationships matters to us.
5. Walking Towards Something
This is my favorite way of cutting people out of social circles. When we walk towards our dreams and soul groups, people fall away naturally. When I was younger, I would usually go with the “break up” conversation or “walking away” but the more focused I become, the less the other methods are necessary. The more we stand in our truth, the less tolerable we are and every person who has no desire to see us fully blossom or self expressed will leave. At first this can be scary, but I promise the Universe has a whole bunch of wonderful surprises and people waiting for you and looking for you, who are overjoyed when you arrive.
Love,
Mala the CityMonk