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1. “I’ll never do it again. But it’s not like I’ve had some ethical reawakening. All that sneaking around will drive a man crazy after a while. Even if you’re in a bad place in your marriage, the deceit will weigh on you and it’s just not worth it in the end. My exploits will probably send me to the grave a decade earlier than scheduled. And for what? Some cheap thrills and a bunch of mediocre blowjobs.”
— Attorney, 32
2. “My biggest regret about the whole thing? Confessing. I felt guilty, obviously. But guess what? Coming clean helped absolutely no one. I felt shitty, my wife felt shitty. If you cheat, do yourself and your spouse a favor and don’t admit to it.”
— Bond Trader, 28
3. “As complicated as the situation became when shit hit the fan, if I could do it all over again, I would. The girl I was sleeping with was hot as fuck and great in bed. No regrets. Except marrying too damn young.”
— Personal Assistant, 26
4. “Having an affair was the stupidest mistake I’ve ever made, if only because I’ll never live it down. My wife freaks out if I don’t check in at least once an hour when I’m doing anything without her. I feel like I’m being watched all the time. Even now.”
— Struggling Actor, 27
5. “This might be counterintuitive, but in a way my affair saved my marriage. Maybe I’m married to the most understanding woman on the planet, but she was able to forgive me and we were able to use what happened as a platform for dealing with some underlying problems in our relationship. Two years later, we’ve never been happier together.”
— Creative Director, 30
6. “I loved having an affair. It suited me. It was romantic and fun and it made me feel alive. But everything came to a crashing halt when I gave my wife chlamydia, which I’d contracted from my side dish. As far as STDs go, chlamydia isn’t so bad. But in terms of all the possible ways a guy can get caught, infecting your wife with a disease—even a relatively benign, curable one—isn’t something I’d recommend.”
— Photo Journalist, 33
7. “A man who needs sex will fuck other women. A man seeking something more cultivates a bond with another woman. There’s a big difference, and I did the latter, which my wife says is unforgivable. She can’t even look me in the eye. And my mistress just left me. It’s safe to say, my life currently sucks.”
— Retail Store Manager, 30
8. “My wife forgave me pretty quickly because I cheated on her with a man. The idea was less threatening to her than if I’d been sleeping with one of my 20-year-old female students. For a long time I was in denial about being bisexual, so I have some repressed feelings to sort through. I have my wife’s blessing to do what I want with other men now as long as I’m safe, and whatever I do doesn’t take away from our time as a couple. Not a bad deal, huh.”
— Professor, 38
9. “When you have an affair, it’s easy to forget that you’re not the only one who might slip up. The woman I was fucking behind my wife’s back was married too, and her husband ended up calling my wife to rat me out. Nightmare. I hate feeling out of control, so I doubt I’ll ever cheat again. Lesson learned.”
— Physical Therapist, 29
10. “It’s been five years since I cheated, and things are finally almost sort of back to normal between the wife and me. It took a lot of sucking up and more than a few expensive gifts I couldn’t really afford to get back to a good place, but I put myself in that situation. It feels better to own up to that than to lie to myself.”
— Documentary Filmmaker, 33
11. “I’ve got a word of advice for women: If you don’t have sex with your husband, he’ll find someone else who’s willing. He’ll pay for it if he has to. That’s the way things work. Get used to it, or don’t. Just don’t be surprised when you play ‘too tired’ for a few weeks and then wake up to the realization that your man’s dick is visiting another pussy regularly.”
— Unemployed (by choice), 25
12. “I’m madly in love with the woman I’ve been having an affair with for three years now. My wife and I have a terrible marriage. We don’t even like each other. But she’s too damn stubborn or pissed or evil to let me go. I want out. This other woman is my only chance at happiness.”
— General Practitioner, 34
13. “I have a few divorced friends and every single relationship meltdown I know of has resulted from someone, either the man or woman, having sex on the side. We’re a jealous species. From what I’ve seen, if there aren’t any kids involved when people break up, it’s fine. But when there are kids involved, no one seems to win. I have three kids, so I don’t see the upside of leaving my wife even though I’m desperate to.”
— Psychiatrist, 40
14. “A year ago, my high school sweetheart reached out to me over Facebook. We started exchanging really emotional, nostalgic emails. That evolved into some really illicit sexting, and ultimately a lot of amazing phone sex. We haven’t seen each other in person in years (she lives across the country), and I’m still torn, but I’m leaning towards divorcing my wife. The fact that I’ve developed this amazing connection with someone else speaks to the fact that my ten-year marriage is beyond.”
— Screenwriter, 35
15. “I feel awful about betraying my life partner. I was sleeping with a colleague for two years before my wife accidentally picked up my phone and saw an incriminating text message thread, and things haven’t been the same since. We’re trying to work everything out through counseling but my wife is understandably angry. I don’t know if her rage will ever subside. A scorned woman never forgets, right?”
— Customer Service Representative, 28
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