Is it Love or Lust: 5 Questions To Ask Yourself

06/12/2017 03:06 pm ET

We often have a romantic attraction for someone because we feel an incredible chemistry and an amazing physical attraction to this individual. If we feel pure lust, it is often based on this physical attraction and our fantasy of how we imagine this person to be.

However, as we get to know them—we may see the “real person,” emerge. When that happens, we may still feel lust for them, but not love. Of course, being in love doesn’t exclude lust; and lust can lead to love. But lust alone is not a very solid foundation for a long-term relationship.

A relationship founded and based on lust may go on for a long time. But it rarely satisfies our need for a deep and intimate love connection to that person.

So, sometimes, we find ourselves in a relationship where we ask: Is it love or lust?

If you look to the following planets in your horoscope, and ask five key questions, you will have your answer.

MOON - Emotional Compatibility

1. Am I comfortable being my true self in this relationship? Look to the Moon to find out if your emotional nature will be compatible with the other person. Have you ever met someone you liked but didn’t feel an emotional connection with? Or, have you ever had a relationship with someone you didn’t feel emotionally safe? Or, have you ever been with someone who seemed so detached, you felt emotionally insecure in their presence? For someone to fit your emotional needs, it’s important that your Moon signs be compatible with each other.

The Moon sign rules your emotions, deep-rooted feelings and innermost needs. It explains how you’re likely to express your emotions and indicates your cultural conditioning, and immediate emotional response to people, places and things. Your Moon sign reveals a great deal about the habits, reactions and attitudes that were instilled in you by your family, and developed in your childhood.

The Moon position determines how you react to the behavior and actions of others. It also reveals the special needs you have to feel emotionally satisfied and secure. The Moon sign describes your “inner child,” and gives insights into how you nurture yourself, your domestic nature, home preferences, and the type of relationship you had with your mother or women in general. It is also an indicator of eating habits.

When two people have compatible Moon signs, they enjoy just being in each other’s space. They intuitively understand each other’s needs. Often, they can talk for hours and feel like they’ve known each other for years! They have a natural ease of living together. They’re likely to appreciate the same home décor, and have similar food preferences and eating habits. Because they have complimentary habit patterns, they respond to daily problems and minor differences in similar ways. They also enjoy an emotionally intimate sex life together.

Incompatible Moon signs between two companions can produce emotional confrontations and disharmonious day-to-day living together. Their habit patterns clash and result in major differences in personal behavior and eating and habits (e.g. “I hate the way she squeezes the toothpaste out of the tube.” Or, “I can’t stand the way he talks with all that food in his mouth.”) Because they spend so much time angry or at odds with each other, their relationship lacks the emotional intimacy that makes for a satisfying sexual relationship.

In order to have a harmonious relationship, it’s important that you and the other person understand each other on an emotional level. If you’re going to have an emotionally satisfying and secure relationship, it’s important to know that your Moon signs are compatible.

MERCURY - Communication Compatibility

2. Do I feel good about the way my partner and I communicate, interact and resolve issues?

Look to the planet Mercury to find out if you’ll think and communicate in compatible ways with the other person. Mercury is the planet that rules our intelligence, mind, memory and, all types of communication ranging from talking and texting to writing. It also affects our self-expression and communication style.

How Mercury functions in a person’s birth chart explains a great deal about how they think, formulate ideas and communicate them. It indicates how someone makes sense of the everyday world they live in.

A person’s Mercury sign tells us how easy or difficult it is to communicate with them, especially about sensitive issues. It helps explain why we have similar ways of thinking about all kinds of matters or, why we tend to have radically different ideas than they do.

If your Mercury sign are compatible with the other person, you’ll find them understanding, supportive and easy to talk with. If they are incompatible, you’ll end up disagreeing, arguing and fighting much of the time you’re together.

The sign that Mercury is in can tell you whether a person is likely to communicate in an honest, positive and optimistic manner, or more negatively in a secretive or deceptive way. Their sign can also tell you whether they are prone to use their communications to put down others, be extremely critical, sarcastic or argumentative.

So, if you’re going to get along, have harmonious communication and compatible ideas with your partner, it’s important to know your Mercury sign and theirs. Then, you can determine whether or not you are likely to have compatible communication with each other.

VENUS - Love Compatibility

3. Would I still love this person, if they were to lose all their material possessions?

Look to the planet Venus to find out if you’ll feel a love connection with this person. Venus is the planet that rules love, relationships and pleasure. The way that Venus functions in your life, gives you valuable insight into your love nature, how you have fun, and your enjoyment beauty. This planet’s influence gives your personality that special charm that draws others to you, and the sex appeal that the right person may find irresistible.

Your Venus sign tells you a great deal about the kind of lovers you attract or that attract you. It describes the ways you seek enjoyment and express your sensuous nature. This planet shows your capacity to express and receive affection. Venus’ influence on you also shows the way you relate to the opposite sex, and how you’re likely to love them and want to be loved.

So, it’s important to know what sign your Venus is in—if you want to understand your intimate relationship needs, and to find someone who will really make you feel happy and loved, even if they have nothing materially to offer you.

MARS - Sexual Compatibility

4. Do I feel a feel a real chemistry and excitement to do things with this person?

Look to the planet Mars to find out if you’re going to be sexually compatible with the other person. This planet rules your physical energy, actions, the way you initiate and your drive. Mars is also the planet that rules your sex drive, desire nature, and how you put your needs and wants into action.

Your Mars sign gives insights about whether your sexual relationship with the other person is likely to be intense, passionate, tempestuous, conventional or lacking in vitality. Whether you’re a man or a woman, it rules your sex drive. In simple terms: Mars is the planet of passion and sexuality.

It also describes the kind of person you’ll feel an immediate physical chemistry. This will be someone who’s most likely to really turn you on, (as in “hot and excited”). So, it’s important to know what sign your Mars is in (and what sign the other person’s Mars is in) - if you want to feel amazing chemistry in your relationship and find someone you’re sexually compatible. This valuable knowledge will help you avoid getting stuck with someone who will prove to be a big disappointment sexually.

Mars also rules being assertive and active. It may be important that you have a relationship with someone who is active and enjoys doing the kind of things you like doing. If you are energetic, and enjoy doing many activities, you may not be compatible with someone who prefers spending most of their free time sitting on the couch watching television.

SUN - Personality Compatibility

5. Do I feel attracted to this person emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually?

Look to the Sun to find out if you’ll be attracted to a person’s personality. Your Sun sign represents your ego and basic identity. It describes your general character and the traits of your personality. Your Sun sign indicates the way you express your will and individuality as the unique person you are. Your Sun sign determines how others will see you. To feel a strong attraction with the other person, it’s important that your Sun signs are compatible.

It’s a wonderful experience to meet someone whose personality you immediately like. When your Sun sign is compatible with the other person, you feel an immediate attraction and rapport with them. There is a natural chemistry where you enjoy being in each other’s presence.

On the other hand, you’ve probably talked with someone who you immediately felt no personal chemistry or attraction. That is often a result of your Sun signs being incompatible. You and the other person are likely to have very different ways of expressing yourselves, approaching life and accomplishing goals. There is a built-in disharmony between you as individuals.

These differences ultimately lead to many relationship challenges you will have to overcome to get along. You’re likely to spend a great deal of time arguing and disagreeing. Instead of cooperation, you may find yourself competing with each other. There can be a clashing of wills and egos over your differences. You’re likely to think the other person is bossy and dominating. Or, they may think that about you. It is difficult to have a harmonious relationship together.

But when your Sun sign is compatible with the other person, you feel a basic romantic attraction and connection with them. You share similar values and can creatively work together to achieve common objectives. You enjoy a natural ability to energize and cooperate with each other.

It’s easy for you to spend lots of time together and become natural friends. You support each other’s individual self-expression and personal goals, making it possible to have a harmonious relationship together. This makes for the kind of person you can build a happy life with in a long-term relationship. This is why Sun sign compatibility between two people is so important.

These are the five (5) important relationship areas to consider, in deciding whether you are “in love or in lust” with the other person. You can learn about each area of love compatibility by comparing your birth chart to the other person’s. In your horoscope these personal planets will tell you whether or not you are really compatible for a love relationship.

To learn where the planets are in your horoscope, use the Free Transit Calculator and enter your birth date. It will compute your personal transits for 2017 and the planets in your birth chart. Then, make sure to scroll down to the bottom of the page, where you’ll see your planets and the sign they’re in.

If you want to know about the planets affecting your love compatibility with another person, go to the Free Love Compatibility Calculator and enter your birth date and theirs. And, if you want a customized report on your compatibility together, order Your Love Compatibility Report.

If you want to know more about your sign and how the planets may be bringing changes to your life, go to the Free Transit Calculator and enter your birth date. And, if you’re curious to learn what your Horoscope says will be happening this year in such areas as your love relationships, and marriage prospects, as well as career, investments and health: Order your customized Report: Your Horoscope & Future in 2017.

If you want to learn more about your natal horoscope, go to the Free Natal Horoscope Calculator and enter your birth date. If you want to learn about your unique personality, strengths, weaknesses and talents you were born with, order your: Personal Natal Horoscope Report. It includes a copy of your birth chart.

If you want a Personal Daily Horoscope for your phone , click the link.

Larry Schwimmer is known as “the down-to-earth Astrologer who uses your Horoscope to solve your problems and tell your future!” He is an astrologer in private practice. For a personal consultation, contact him at: Larry@astrodecision.com or go to www.AstroDecision.com

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Larry Schwimmer is president of Astrodecision.com, a San Francisco-based consulting company. The firm uses planetary cycles analysis to counsel individual and corporate clients on picking the “best dates” to make successful decisions of all types: personal, marketing, financial, and political. Schwimmer is an internationally known business consultant, life coach and astrologer (with a Fortune 500 M&A background). Visit his website: AstroDecision.com

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