”I have always taken care of my physical and mental health, so my diagnosis was a shock to the core.” - Gretchen Howard
Gretchen Howard was diagnosed with Stage 2 Invasive Ductal Carcinoma in May of 2017. She’s 44 years old, and is being treated at Northside-Forsyth Hospital in Cumming, Georgia. “When I was diagnosed, the floor beneath me crumbled. I was in control one moment and a spiral of questions and fear the next.“
MK: How did your breast cancer diagnosis change your life?
GH: Recently heard a survivor say, a cancer diagnosis is a divine tap on the shoulder. I choose to view my diagnosis this way: a clear message to slow down, say "no" with liberty, manage stress, flood my body with love and nutrients, and put overall self-care at the top of my to-do list.
MK: What do you wish you'd known before being diagnosed with breast cancer?
GH: That self-exams, clinical exams, and mammograms are of equal importance. One may reveal something another does not. I found my 2 cm mass by a self-exam, and my previous three mammograms did not detect it.
MK: How has this experience awakened you to yourself and your purpose?
GH: Finding my footing and the way to light after being thrown in a deep, dark hole leaves me with an inner knowing that whatever happens, it will all be okay. I had no choice but to keep going and depend on God for help. I am more confident in who I am, and I do not seek outside sources to confirm my value. I know myself in deeper, truer realms and I am filled with an unshakeable peace.
MK: Tell me about your advocacy work.
GH: The best way for me to make sense out of adversary is to share my story. I still have one more surgery ahead and have many ideas for when I'm firmly on the other side of this, but for now, my advocacy work is openly sharing. Talking about my experience not only helps me, but I have seen it inspire my friends to stay on top of their exams and mammograms. Before my diagnosis, I started a blog, Rooted and Whole, meant to be about health and wellness, and since my diagnosis, it's taken on a new slant. Writing helps me diffuse anxiety and share with anyone who is willing to listen.
MK: What word do you wish you could take out of the breast cancer vocabulary?
GH: Every diagnosis, situation, and person is different, and I believe we need to arm ourselves with the words and affirmations that serve us individually. A dear friend and fellow survivor told me she didn't like to think of breast cancer as a "fight," and that resonated with me. Adversary begets adversary. It didn't feel right to me to have a "fight" going on inside this vessel of mine that I saturate with love and light. I choose to focus on words like unite, heal, power, boost, flood, grow, gratitude and love. I know "fight" works for a lot of people, but for me, it opens the door to anxiety and fear.
MK: If there was one thing you could change about breast cancer and how people view it, what would that be?
GH: Fear of the possibility of breast cancer sprung up inside of me at my first diagnostic ultrasound. A nurse took my hand and said, "a breast cancer diagnosis is not a death sentence." Oh, really? I thought sarcastically. Easy for you to say. But I've learned that she is right. I lost a dear friend to breast cancer this year -- her funeral was the same day as my diagnostic exams -- and I assumed everyone with breast cancer has the same fate. Yes, there are way too many stories with heartbreaking endings, but there are also many, many stories of survival. With early detection and care, there is hope.
MK: Why is it so important to you to support other women with breast cancer?
GH: Breast cancer is not a path anyone chooses, but it is a path that no one should have to walk alone. The support of other women who've been through it has carried me through my darkest times. I now have a forever purpose and heart to help other women going through breast cancer.
GH: What would you tell a newly diagnosed young woman?
MK: 1) Be proud of yourself for staying on top of your health. You are the coach in this game. Educate yourself and assemble a strong team of doctors, family, friends, a therapist, naturopath - whoever you need on your team. You call the shots, and your team is here to guide and support you. 2) Take the journey one teeny step at a time. Marathon runners break 26.2 miles into mental three-mile increments lest they get overwhelmed by the daunting task ahead. Be in the present and focus on the positive. 3) Look into the eyes of the people who love you. Be grateful for your medical team. 4) Stand firm in who you are and do not let cancer define you. Continue to do what makes you YOU.
MK: Has cancer changed how you see adversity?
GH: Yes. When I first received the news of my cancer diagnosis, my mind jumped from my normal life to me on my deathbed saying goodbye to my husband and children. As I worked through that scenario and realized that was not going to be the case, everything became a gift. Life is a gift. Every day and experience is a gift. The people in our lives are gifts. I can do all things through God who strengthens me, and I will never "sweat the small stuff" again.
MK: What one word defines you?
GH: Resilient.