This is for all the mother’s out there – those with mental or physical illnesses, those who are addicts or prisoners, those who are absent in their children’s lives, those who live everyday sacrificing their lives for their children, and those who are watching their children from heaven above.
There is something that is so special about Mother’s Day because it is a reminder that your mother gave birth to you. Even if you think were an “accident” or “mistake” or you’ve been told that, remind yourself that you were born out of your mother’s womb, and that is a gift in itself ― a truly beautiful miracle. What’s even better is knowing that life gave the gift of you. Nothing is an accident because God is directing each one of your steps, and you are the best hope for the future.
So, for those whose mothers sacrifice everything for you: Although, I really value the thought behind Mother’s Day, I believe that recognition and everything that your mother has done for you should make that turn every day into Mother’s Day.
Naturally, when we have a mother, as young children, we depend on our moms for everything. As teenagers, we start to retaliate when things do not go our way. And, as we finally get older, we slowly start to realize the significance of a mother. Sometimes, we forget how much our moms have done for us. Some of us grow up thinking our mothers will never understand our struggles, but the truth is some mothers invest time making sure we never understand theirs.
Remember the nights your mom stayed up putting you to sleep, the time she took wiping your nose, bottom, and tears, the nights she stayed up late helping with your homework, the nights she spent taking care of you when you were sick while she was probably even sicker with worry? There are countless reminders I can give, but the lesson to be learned is to not take these small things for granted because truthfully, even the smallest gestures will make these kind of mothers the happiest.
It is easy to take these kind of mothers for granted. It’s easy to get bogged down by the constant demands of being a mother, but that is why part of the reason why some of these multi-faceted mothers know that part of being a mother is also about finding joy in the smallest gestures that your kids make to show you that they appreciate you every single day, not ONLY on mother’s day.
For those of you who are put in unfortunate situations where your mother has a mental or physical illness: be thankful and grateful. It’s silly to ask you to do that, right?
Oh love, be thankful for this illness because it can inspire you to spend more time with the woman who brought you into this world. It can help you see the value in slowing things down and not taking any day for granted, which most of us do. Notice, that these illnesses can bring life into your family relationships, reinforce appreciation for the undying power of love, and strengthen your bond and connection with your mother. It can make you truly believe in God’s perfectly imperfect way of order and how he has structured the universe in a way that not even an illness can touch the permanent love and laughter, the endless amount of hugs and kisses, and the wonderful memories that have been created and shared.
For those whose moms are prisoners, addicts, or have abandoned you from your life: it’s teaching you the lesson of true strength and forgiveness. Naturally, when you are put in this kind of situation, Mother’s Day becomes just another day because of the emotional exhaustion and trauma you have been put through. Its difficult because you don’t want to be reminded of anything having to do with your mom.
Just know that I have the upmost admiration and respect for you. Forgiving isn’t easy, but it’s definitely sweeter than revenge. It allows one to taste the sweetness of peace in his or her heart. Forgive, because like chains shackling you to the past, you will no longer pollute your heart with bitterness, fear, distrust, or anger. Forgive, because that hate is just another way of holding on and that you don’t belong in that place anymore. Forgive, because you are setting a prisoner free or drug addict free and allowing yourself the opportunity to discover that the whole time the prisoner or addict was you. Our hurt will be prolonged, and like a wound that is infected, it gets worse as time goes by if we don’t choose to forgive. When you forgive, you grow, your heart begins to heal, your back straightens up as you stand tall with strength, and your eyes clear so that you can see the bright road ahead. Remember, forgiveness is an attribute of the strong, and that strength means you have the ability to overcome resentment against others, including the resentment you have for your mom who abandoned you when you needed her the most.
For those whose mothers are in heaven watching down on you from above: make her proud. Envision what your mother was like and use that as motivation to surpass any obstacle that is thrown your way. Be reminded of the importance of seeing the value in memories that you shared, even if it is slightly vague or all that you have left are remains of an old photograph. Look into the stillness of the photograph, and remember, that photos are a return ticket to a moment otherwise gone. Remember, to look around like you are in the stillness of that photograph. In that stillness is where you can find the enchanting, simple little things that life has to offer you. There’s a sort of beauty in making something out of what seems to be nothing. There’s a sort of beauty in breaking out of the clutter to discover and create a glorious vision of your own world. I know, Mother’s Day will remind you of your loss, but you are given more strength that you could ever attain in a lifetime so be proud of reaching that milestone because I’m sure your guardian angel is watching over you and smiling.
I know some of you may be thinking that it is so easy for me to write this when I have been blessed and fortunate with a mother who has done everything for me. She’s emotional, yet my rock. She gets tired, yet she keeps going. She gets worried, yet is full of hope. She has every right to be impatient, yet she’s patient. She gets overwhelmed, yet she never quits. She is extraordinary, even in chaos. She’s a life changer, every single day.
Even though I acknowledge all these things now, believe me when I say that I’ve taken her for granted many times, and I wish I never had. I’m guilty too, just like you may be. But just remember, we are all given different situations and thrown curveballs at different points in our lives, and I truly believe that everything in life is a blessing in disguise.
So, to all the mothers out there: remember it’s not what mothers do for their children, but it’s what you’ve taught them to do for themselves, whether you are present or absent from your children’s life. For all the children out there: Sometimes, it’s NOT what you get for what you go through, but it’s what you BECOME of it. Regardless of how your mother is, there’s always a lesson to be learned from her, and you should be thankful to your mom for that because I sure know that I am.