It has been exactly one month since the New York Times broke the John McCain/Vicki Iseman scandal, and since then the press has gone after Iseman with all the veracity and acumen of a dead hippo. What gives?
Don't get me wrong -- I think that if John McCain had an inappropriate relationship with a lobbyist who looks like a Barbie doll that your sister gave a haircut to, it doesn't make him any less qualified to be president than I already think he is. That said, since any Democrat that is state assembly on up can't look at a woman other than his wife without the press going after her, I'd like to see the same crappy journalism help my team for once.
It certainly isn't happening yet, and Vicki Iseman is probably sitting at home thanking Eliot Spitzer and Jeremiah Wright for making this news almost as old as John McCain, smugly patting herself on the back for being the only person in history to be a front page story in the Times with the self-control to not utter a peep. That, or some shadowy people have buried her in the desert.
We wrote a song to help find out - enjoy!
Vicki Where Are You?
A month ago when I first read your nameIn a television storm of counterclaimsCertain that you'd surface soon enoughTo deflect the accusations, cry out how you've been misjudgedThe rumors faded out and that was thatAnd everyone stopped wondering just where you might be atNow it's likely that I'll see your faceOn a box of milk at breakfast or a ship to outer space
Vicki where are you, did they send you far awayI don't want to argue, I just want to know that you're okayVicki where are you on a rocket to the moonVicki where are you, I hope you come home soon
Hey, for all I know you just might beIn little plastic bags down at the bottom of the seaMaybe you fell victim to the handsSticking shovel after shovel in the Arizona sandI'm only kidding, am I notI wouldn't put it past them, don't expect them to get caughtSo keep your story firmly in your throat1,000 screaming children clench their teeth and hope you don't
Vicki where are you, did they pull you way down southAre you tied to a chair with duct tape on your mouthV-V-Vicki where are you, way down in MexicoVicki where are you, why'd you have to go
The search and rescue party has gone homeAnd Timmy, Wolf and Tweety vowed to leave you well aloneI'd offer an advance to write a bookIf you make it to the cameras before you lose your looks
Vicki where are you, and just what did you doVicki where are you, on the island of NauruVicki where are you, the girl the world forgotVicki where are you, You might be all we've gotVicki where are you?