Our human nature, since the day we are born, is to adjust to what surrounds us. As we grow up, we become more conscious of those surroundings, the people around us, our lifestyle, and the everyday activities that become our routine. As long as life continues without too many disturbances, we feel secure and comfortable.
We basically design our lives around routines. Unfortunately, when a big change or challenge comes into our lives that somehow threatens the path we are on, our immediate response is resistance. In our minds, it is almost impossible to easily adjust to any challenge or change brought about by things outside of our control.
Knowing that we are losing control of our routine creates FEAR in us, and this is something that can happen at any point in our lives. When we are toddlers, a teacher leaving or a new one coming can affect us immensely. When we are teenagers, our social life and any changes can affect us hugely. And when we are adults, a job change or losing a loved one can affect us immensely as well, and our FEAR comes with feelings of rejection and denial.
When trying to conceive a baby, whether with In Vitro Fertilization (IVF) treatment, another type of fertility treatment, or even when trying to conceive naturally - if there is no positive result, it is devastating. It happened to me once I learned that IVF was the only way I could conceive.
I was a huge wreck. I cried and couldn’t believe it, and showed my FEAR with negative thoughts and denial. I tried as hard as I could to reject what was a reality. Instead of trying to understand, be observant, and accept that this was another thing happening in my life that I must adjust to, I just did the opposite. I blocked myself from staying calm, trying to see the bright side of the situation and learning from it. But my reaction was very normal, and for us to get to the point of accepting a challenge and change, it seems denial is a necessary step to pass the phase of rejection and FEAR.
So, with this article I want to tell all of you walking the difficult road of IVF treatment or trying to conceive and still being unable to, it is ok to feel trapped, it is ok to reject the fact that this is the only way or our only choice. However, from my own experience, I can tell you that just because we feel that FEAR and rejection does not mean that we have to close our minds. We can welcome this challenge, embrace it, adjust to it, and make it a part of our lives with love, understanding and positivity.
Remember: What we send out to the universe is what becomes our reality.
Monica Bivas is a married mom of 3, born in Colombia and became an IVF Coach from her own struggle to conceive. She is helping women and couples no matter their choice, going through this fertility process, to approach it in a much positive way.