Alec Baldwin stepped into Donald Trump’s shoes again for “Saturday Night Live” to present his own version of the president-elect’s recent press conference and talk about inauguration entertainment, golden showers and his sons, “Beavis” and “Butthead.”
Baldwin as Trump begins in the cold open with a serious warning: “Let me answer the question that’s on everyone’s mind: Yes this is real life, this is really happening. On January 20th, I, Donald J. Trump will become the 45th president of the United States. Then two months later Mike Pence will become the 46th.”
He says he’s excited to move into the White House, and will even have a “little” pet: Paul Ryan.
“Who is excited for my Inauguration Day?” he asks. “We have got some of the biggest performers in the world lined up. Hold on to your tits and bits, because we have got Three Doors Down, Jackie What’s-her-face from “America’s Got Talent” and the one Rockette with the least money in her savings.” He also touts “huge A-List actors coming, like Angelina Jolie, Ryan Gosling and Jennifer Lawrence ... courtesy of Madame Tussauds” waxworks.
He then takes questions from “reporters,” but refuses to answer any “pee pee party” questions, referring to an unsubstantiated report of a “golden shower” sex fete in Russia, saying: “It didn’t happen and It wasn’t as cool as it sounds.” But he can’t quite steer away from golden shower images as he talks about his plan to bring a “thick stream of jobs” to the country. “This country will literally be showered with jobs. Because I’m a major wiz at jobs,” he gushes.
When a reporter tells him people “could die” if he eliminates Obamacare without a replacement, leaving 20 million people without health insurance, Baldwin’s Trump answers: “Listen, sweetheart, I’m about to be president. We’re all going to die.”
He also announces that he has “turned over all my business to my two sons, Beavis and Butthead.” Gesturing to SNL cast members Mikey Day and Alex Moffat, playing Donald Jr. and Eric, Baldwin adds: “Look at those two little American psychos.” He refuses to take a question from a reporter from the “failing pile of garbage” BuzzFeed or from “over-rated fake news” CNN, though insists repeatedly: “I respect the press.”
The last question comes from shirtless Vladimir Putin look-alike Beck Bennett (claiming to be Wolf Blitzer) who asks Trump if he’s “very very sure” Russia hacked the American presidential election, while he holds up a small video labeled “pee pee tape.”
“It was China,” Baldwin responds. “No, it was Canada. OK, It was Meryl Streep.” He wraps it up with the sendoff: “Thanks for peeing here.”
Before the Trump skewering, “SNL” re-aired a 1978 episode featuring Carrie Fisher not long after she rocked the first “Star Wars” movie as Princess Leia. She opened the show dressed as Leia. Musical guests were the Blues Brothers: Dan Aykroyd and the late great John Belushi.
Saturday night’s episode was hosted by “Rogue One” actress Felicity Jones, who was joined in the opening monologue by an ersatz “hologram” of Tina Fey as Princess Leia. Fey warned Jones: “No matter how the show goes, the president of the United States will say that it’s sad and overrated,” adding: “It’s fine, no one cares.”