Where is the House of the Lord? It depends on where you sit.
Am I a bad Jew? I am writing this on Yom Kippur, while smoking a cigar, an espresso within reach. Looks like three strikes to me - maybe.
But I did go to temple for this most holy day, with over 150 fellow members of the tribe.
So, where is hallowed ground for me? Does one only find it in a synagogue or can one find it in a cemetery visiting my daughter, or a backyard reading? I'd guess that it can be found in my heart and my personal relationship with God.
This is not a case against organized religion for we, as Jews, know that to survive, we must mobilize and create a sense of community -- build shuls, schools and centers where people like us can gather.
I was never one of those High Holiday Jews who show up just for the schmooze and then is absent the other days of the year. But I am not one of those who attends in the off-season either, with devotion, and for that, I have only one entity to answer to: you know who!
So, how do I observe this Day of Atonement? Although I will not eat until sundown, I indulged in the trappings of society, such as driving my car to Total Wine to get liquor for Break Fast. I lost track of time in temple and checked the clock on my Iphone. I wore leather shoes, remembering sneakers would have been more appropriate. And I watched as the males, separated from the females, glanced at the women as they entered. Does that make me or the other men that matter, bad Jews? No. I think it makes us human.
I would like to believe I am more evolved since a few years ago, grown wiser and more introspective through great sorrow and great love.
A few weeks ago, I went online and downloaded a copy of the Torah. I had not read it since my bar mitzvah. I sat down on this Yom Kippur eve and began reading the Five Books of Moses. Some pretty cool stuff.
I evaluated my life, my triumphs, my setbacks. I felt close to God in my own way, and not any less holy than those who attended services regularly.
I use Yom Kippur as a day to reflect, atone and try to become a better person. I thought of those I wronged, those who wronged me, those I miss and those I am grateful to still have in my life.
I was raised with the belief that God doesn't only exist within the confines of a building. The House of the Lord is one of those abstract things that is highly complex and yes, highly private.
Let's summarize. Have I repented? Have I asked for redemption of my transgressions? Have I become a better person because I have looked into my heart and my soul and asked for guidance to set my life on a course that will cause His countenance to shine upon me?
I certainly hope so - but in the end, that's really between me and my God.