Beyonce and My Black Girl FoMO

Epic.

My life has been forever changed.

Finally, a film that black women can relate to.

Beyoncé, syndicated film, Lemonade was just released and I had a huge case of FoMO (Fear of Missing Out).  I can remember like it was yesterday…

I was working late night Saturday, and I noticed that one of my favorite entrepreneurs, that I follow on Instagram posted something about the one and only Bey.

Sley Bey Sley.

I didn’t know what she was talking about. Perplexed, I decided to scrolled down and I saw another post of Beyoncé. I thought to myself ‘Is Beyoncé singing at the Super Bowl? Nah it’s April.' That night I laid in bed singing to Flawless to sleep.

Sunday night rolls up and I was working and decided to check Facebook. I noticed that Beyoncé was blowing up my feed. I couldn’t believe what was going on.  Lemonade was released.

I didn’t have HBO, but everyone I knew contacted me. All friends, of every race.

What did you think about Lemonade? How did you relate to the film? Is this truly a black woman’s experience?

I got frustrated. ‘Why do I have to watch Lemonade?’ That night, I protested.  “I will not watch Lemonade! Why did she just start writing about her black experience? How long has she been in the limelight, 15 years?”

Well, my bashing didn’t last long…

I started thinking to myself.

‘I am not black enough? Who am I to judge, Beyoncé is just telling her story her African American experience. Maybe I should find get someone’ password, so I can experience it.' For a week I started texting my friends and asking them for their HBO Go password.  I couldn’t get access. I started questioning my whole being.

“I am not an empowered black woman for watching Lemonade?” It was then I realized that I had a serious case of Black girl FoMo. 

A Quarter Life Crisis + FoMO= Love story

As a life coach that specializes in helping Millennials understand and breakthrough their Quarter Life Crisis, I am obsessed with the Fear of Missing out FoMo theory. In a nutshell, A Quarter Life Crisis:

  • can happen between the ages of 19-34.
  • It is the feeling when one feels trapped in a relationship, career, financial or health situation.

When we feel trapped in our Quarter Life Crisis, we are unable to see a possible solution. Fear of Missing out lurks in our unconscious. Have you ever been in a situation where you’ve said the following?

  • If I had money like person X, then my life would be better.
  • I wish I had X’s Instagram feed
  • Parent voice: “I just saw your friend X on the Facebook, person X finished grad school, seems like person X is doing great.”

I argue that FoMO is a side effect of A Quarter Life Crisis. When we are in the beginning stages of our Quarter Life Crisis and we look to others to find a sense of inner peace. Often times we look to successful people for guidance. This Keeping up with Kardashian mindset, isn’t helpful because we aren’t Kim K. We tell ourselves, that we have the same amount of hours as Beyoncé does. We place huge weight on famous people, and all they are doing is their job. This is a huge problem because when are knee deep in a Quarter Life Crisis, looking at successful people isn’t going to help us get out of our crisis. We have to look internally and help ourselves.

My Black girl FoMO

It had been a while since I had experienced FoMO and this was the first time in a long time that I placed judgement on Beyoncé.  That night I got into formation and I thought about my FoMO. I wrote in my journal and thought about all the reasons why I felt as if I was missing out. I came to the conclusion that my FoMO actually didn’t derive from Lemonade, it derived from me working too much. I worked all weekend and I didn’t create balance in my life.

I took a break from working and I logged off of all forms social media for week to get some clarity.   

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