To be one’s true self is the goal in life. This blog series would not exist if it weren’t for a reunion with an old friend who had all the makings of a modern-day Mozart. But at a pivotal fork in the road, he chose the path behind a desk, instead of one behind a keyboard, which would’ve honored his gift - like Mozart did. Now, 20 years later, he’s unrecognizable, this friend who once had music radiating from every cell, especially when singing in random bursts of happiness. The years have taken their toll - not just in the added 20 pounds that don’t belong, but in the heaviness that comes when living someone else’s life, and not one’s true purpose. The life you came here to live.
As a writer, this inspired me to highlight the special souls who chose to follow their true path. The tougher path, but one that honors and expresses the powerful gift of music they’ve been given. To live the Mozart life. May some of their words help or inspire you to find your true calling in life.
One of my favorite acoustic covers is Darden Smith’s “Say A little Prayer” on SiriusXM’s Coffeehouse channel. It led me to more of Darden’s music, including his latest album “Love Calling.” Darden reflects on why he chose that classic Burt Bacharach song to cover, playing a nylon string guitar, his way of giving back with SongwritingWith:Soldiers, choosing the music path and meeting people he only could’ve met through that choice, what helps him feel grounded, and falling out of love with songs and becoming a welder for six months.
One of the best acoustic covers ever is your version of “Say a Little Prayer,” I would keep rewinding it when I heard it on Sirius. It sounds so joyful too. Was that your feeing when you were playing it, what was your intention on that song choice and how you decided to do it?
I just liked the song. Covering other people’s songs isn’t something I do very often, but I had to get inside of “Say A Little Prayer” after hearing Bacharach do it live. Since I can’t play it exactly how it’s written, I had to come up with my own version. When I’m sitting around the house I usually play a nylon string guitar. I’ve been writing a lot of “songbook” style tunes, 40’s and 50’s sounding stuff and some bastardized samba thrown in there as well. This song just sort of fit in with that.
On your latest album, the song “Mine Till Morning” is a beautiful song, almost achey in the feeling it elicits as well. Was that your intention for it? What was your inspiration for it and was it a song that came easily and quickly to you?
A friend gave me the title for “Mine Till Morning.” Actually she wanted to write it with me but I didn’t realize it at the time. You might say I stole the title, but that’s another story. Radney Foster and I had a co-write scheduled, and when he showed up at the house, I threw the title out there with the chords. We talked about it a bit, and boom - the song came in about forty-five minutes. It’s just a lonely title. You can’t make that a happy song.
When you write, you have to follow whatever comes first, the title, melody, rhythm, and see where it leads. I don’t think it’s channeling a song so much as being ready to write it when the song is ready to written.
People often say the best songs they wrote in minutes, it flows through them, they are most connected to their true selves, Higher Selves. What are your thoughts on that?
Some songs come easy, some slow. It’s really up to the song. It’s like fishing. You can throw the same bait in the same water at the same time of day, and five days in a row, nothing. Then the next day you land the fish. The trick is to show up and write. There’s no magic wand.
There are divine moments of serendipity, where a catalyst opens the door that leads to the path we’re meant to be on, the one where we live out the fullest expression of our true selves. What was that moment for you and how did it happen?
There’s been so many. They start early in life and pile on top of each other. When my dad and I would talk about what I was going to do when I grew up, he always told me to first figure out what I would do if I didn’t have to work, then figure out how to get paid to do it. It’s pretty good advice. He was told that by an old hand on their farm in South Texas who himself was the son of a slave. That’s a good lineage.
What inspired this blog series was seeing an old friend who has a special gift of music, but didn’t choose that path, who, 20 years later, isn’t living the life he thought he would live. People who make music and get to travel the world doing so are a rare example of a life where one is able to honor and channel their gift of music. What are your thoughts? And do you feel you’re consciously living the life you thought you would be living?
I remember telling someone at 14 that I wanted to be a songwriter. As far as a career, it’s been great, and really hard at times. I’m in my 33rd year of making a living this way. In no way does my work now bear any resemblance to what I thought it would be. It’s better. SongwritingWith:Soldiers is a good example of that. Who would’ve dreamed that I would get the same, if not more, charge from sitting down with a soldier and collaborating on a song with them about their time in the military or what it’s like to come home as I would doing a show at a big venue? It’s crazy good.
I’ve said in the blog post about living the Mozart life, that it may be a tougher road to choose, but you’re fully living your true selves. Do you resonate to that? You did not choose the 9 to 5 path.
No, I didn’t. It’s more like the 7 a.m. to midnight path if you have to catch an early flight!
To embark on this path you chose, was that difficult? You didn’t know you would get here. You didn’t know you would have longevity.
It’s easy to be a musician when you’re young, before the bills and children and mortgages kick in. It’s not the starting that’s hard, it’s keeping it going. But it’s the best way possible to make a living. I call it the circus. It’s always better to be in the band.
How did you know that this is your life path, your calling? How do you know when you’re on the correct path?
I’m reminded of it every day, whether it’s through a song, a chord on the guitar, something I draw, a conversation with a friend I could’ve only met through music.
When did you know you had this gift of music and how did it manifest for you? Some people hear original tunes in their heads and they know they’re supposed to become composers, for example.
I started writing songs when I was ten years old. My family isn’t musical in the slightest, so I was kind of an oddity. When I was 17, I wrote something called “Johnny’s Song” about a Vietnam vet. It was probably a take on John Prine’s “Sam Stone.” But it came from somewhere else, it was bigger than me. My girlfriend at the time told me to “Never play that for anyone. It’ll freak them out. The world isn’t ready for you.” That’s when I knew I was on to something.
How did you start to do the human discipline it takes to channel your gift, hone it, and bring it forth?
It’s actually very simple -- you write. I did it almost everyday when I was in my teens and twenties. The 10,000 hours thing is true. It’s a craft. Luck can hit at any time. But to get lucky again and again takes work. It takes craft. That comes from the doing. There’s no way around that part. It’s also where the beauty is.
Life does give us catalysts, a release valve, which often is our lowest point in life, that allows us to push up to the next, hopefully better chapter. Like a desert, wilderness period in life, that helps raise our consciousness and stay true to yourself and your own path. What was that low point for you that helped you push yourself further, evolve and do better, and what did you do when you had that epiphany?
At 40, I was bored with the write-record-tour cycle, had fell out of love with songs, wasn’t really listening to music. I had two young kids and not much money. A friend of mine put me to work as a welder for six months. It was divine. But I was never going to become a good welder. I looked around, and came to the conclusion that there’s nothing that makes me as happy as songs. So if I go for that, I’ll be fine. That’s when I started looking around for different ways to use songs and that took me down the path of writing songs with people that don’t write songs. It took the business out of the music, which oddly enough, evolved into another part of my business. That was the springboard for all that I do now. Yes, I still write-record-tour. But I also do things like SongwritingWith:Soldiers, give keynote talks, write songs in corporate settings, do conflict resolution using collaborative songwriting. It’s still songs.
It’s been a tough year for music, losing its own. What are your thoughts on time, how it seems to go by faster each year. Perhaps it’s made you reflect on what you want to achieve in the time we’re given here?
I don’t think about it. Just live.
Unlike any time in history, we’re in a overwhelming digital era. There is so much detritus, noise and schadenfreude. What’s your view on that, and how do you find quiet in this era? What do you do to connect with your Higher Self, your true self, how do you ground yourself, focus on your own life path and purpose?
I pick up the guitar every morning within the first 15 minutes of getting out of bed. Start with music, before I check email, look at the news, anything. That has been the best grounding I’ve found.
I’m a firm believer in doing mitzvahs, especially in the tougher times of our lives. To give back, be of service in some way, to use our time most wisely, can only help us in the end. What are your thoughts and do you try to do your own mitzvahs to help others, even in the smallest way?
SongwritingWith:Soldiers. The prime motivation that drives me to do the work of SongwritingWith:Soldiers is - the possibility that by bringing my craft of songwriting to another person's story, we could actually transform something painful into something beautiful, that we could even sing. We see many benefits with the soldiers that work with us — connection, more openness to their own creativity, a new relationship with their own story and the fact that others care. As an organization we do follow up with them through quarterly conference calls, interviews, and they are invited to come back to retreats for peer support. As our work is not about teaching songwriting or specifically mentoring their musicality, we don't do things like set up iTunes accounts. We focus on who they are, and what is the core of their story, collaborating on that and helping them find a way to help them tell it. For me, the beauty of SongwritingWith:Soldiers is that it is music without the music business.
What advice do you have for people who have the gift of music, but don’t know how to start channeling it, to develop that gift and bring it out?
There’s no magic wand. Just do it. Play. Sing. Write. Anything. Don’t worry about being a star, or making a living. If you have a gift to give, then somebody out there needs to hear it. Get busy.
What do you do to help pick yourself up when you’re feeling down, and help you stay the course? Is there a song you play that inspires you when you’re needing some inspiration or to pick yourself up?
I turn everything off, go to the studio, pick up the first instrument that I see, and start playing. If words come, great. Write it out. It’s how I process the world, what’s kept me on the planet these last 44 years.