Last month, on November 17, my 10-year-old son, Lance Rodriguez sat in his social studies class completing his history assignment.
Suddenly, a boy - I'll refer to him as bully #1 or #1 - yells out a couple of racist insults.
"Lance eats butt. Go back to your country!" #1 screams.
Lance told #1 to shut up and called him the b-word.
Together with other insults, including the f-word, #1 told Lance he was fat, and the bully stomped out of the room.
In gym class later that day, my son, Lance Rodriguez scribbled the words, "You suck," on the bully's book bag.
In the following video, you can see Lance telling his counselor that he scribbled on the boy's book bag because he felt that #1 insulted his family name, the country where his family is from, his culture, his ethnicity, and his identity. Lance also added that #1 told another boy who has the same family name as us, Rodriguez, that he spoke funny and his last name was terrible because it was Mexican or Puerto Rican.
When I went to pick up my son that day, the gym teacher, Eileen Perini, and the social studies teacher, Ronni Gilhuley, first told me that Lance wrote on the boy's book bag. Neither teacher initially said to me that the boy started the argument by telling my son to return to his country - which is the United States for he was born in St. John's Hospital in Queens.
I asked Lance why he did that, and he told me that #1 told him to go back to his country.
The social studies teacher told me that she witnessed the other boy starting the incident by verbally assaulting my son. However, Ms. Gilhuley said to me that she did not hear what #1 said precisely.
My son says that #1 said the racist insult very loudly, and everybody heard it.
I was angry that the boy was resorting to making racist remarks. They told Lance that my son was doing what the bully wanted when he angrily responded to those type of insults.
The teachers said that they were going to speak to the boy's parents; however, they stressed the fact that my boy wrote on the boy's bookbag.
As you can hear in the video, my son's counselor told me that no one should have to tolerate racism, and my son should not ignore what happened. She said my son was a victim of bullying, and his actions were in self-defense.
How would you react if someone ethnicity or identify? Should you or anyone have to work under such hostile conditions?
History of Bullying
On November 3, that same bully teamed up with another bully to harass my son.
During Spanish class, my son was writing his assignment on the chalkboard. The boy who would make the racist remark, #1, scribbled on my son's work.
My son told him to stop that.
Another boy that has harassed and physically assaulted my son before - I will refer to him as bully #2 or #2 - said that my son spoke like a squeaky toy and that he was going to knock Lance out.
Lance sarcastically said that he was so scared, and #2 approached my son.
The teacher temporarily stopped the altercation.
Shortly after that, #2 drew a red line on the board and threatened Lance.
"Cross this line on the board, and I'll knock you out," #2 said.
Bully #1 taunted my son by telling him to cross the line.
Bully #2 said Lance was a chicken.
My son told him, "I'm no chicken; I just don't want to get in trouble."
The teacher called the assistant principal, Jacqueline Sugrue.
When Ms. Sugrue arrived, #2 told her he did not do anything. My son explained everything that happened to Ms. Sugrue.
Ms. Sugrue removed my son from the class and left the other two boys in their class. That day, the school held a Thanksgiving event called the Turkey Trot A Thon where the children ran laps around the gym to raise funds for their computer lab.
The two boys who harassed my son stayed with their class and participated in the event. My son was stuck in the office and could not attend the event.
When I picked him up, Lance told me how disappointed he was because the school staff left him in the office while the rest of the school ran in the Turkey Trot-A-Thon.
I called Ms. Sugrue, and she told me that she removed my son to get more information on what happened during the incident. However, she kept my son in the school office for 30 minutes after briefly addressing the conflict with him.
My son has had to physically and verbally defend himself several times against these bullies.
Once five children chased my son in the schoolyard, and once they caught up to Lance, he tried to defend himself, but bully #2 punched my son in the stomach.
The school nurse called me and told me what happened.
When I discussed this and other incidents of bullying with the school principal, Mary Keegan, she started screaming at me, emphasizing how much my son was at fault.
I asked the principal to separate my son from these boys, but she said she could not do that.
After the racist occurrence, I filed a complaint with the New York City Department of Education (DOE) call center. The DOE representative referred me to the Family Support Coordinator of District 27, Sonia Bonilla. On November 6, 2017, the DOE representative, Collin #1521231, told me that I would get a call back in a week's time.
To this date, no one has called me back.
On Monday, November 27, 2017, I called Ms. Sonia Bonilla at (718) 642-5770, and without saying anything else, she asked for my phone number. I gave her my phone number. She told me she would call me back.
To this date, no one has called me back.
Should this type of behavior be allowed to continue without trying a different solution?
In Southern California, a 13-year-old girl hung herself on Tuesday, Nov. 28, 2017, because other students bullied her in school. The girl kept a journal listing all of the people that bullied her.
Lance also wrote down the names of the two people who have bullied him this year in a statement of goals that he wrote. Lance wrote that one of his goals was to leave his class, so he does not have to be around them.
In Colorado, a 10-year-old girl killed herself in November after she found out somebody posted a video online of a bully fighting with her.
In 2014, a study published in JAMA Pediatrics found that students who are victims of bullying are more likely to consider committing suicide and more likely to try to kill themselves.
In 2015, a study published in the journal the Lancet Psychiatry found that bullied children suffer from worse mental health outcomes than those who are abused by adults.
Earlier this year researchers found that bullied schoolchildren disliked school, suffered from low confidence in their academic skills, and demonstrated low academic performance.
Education agencies should intervene to stop bullying in its tracks rather than solely make a statement after a tragedy occurs.
My son is utterly depressed. Last Sunday Lance told me that the whole school was against him. Lance said that in drama class the entire class laughs at him, and the teacher, Ms. Andrea Joseph told him that was a natural occurrence in her course; it was his habitat. Lance tells me that Ms. Joseph does nothing to stop bullying.
Also, one boy told Lance that he complained to Ms. Joseph about someone who was bothering him.
Ms. Joseph told the boy, "I'm not a cop."
The other day Lance was crying in math class saying that he was so frustrated that he has to keep attending a school that allows people to attack other people's ethnicities and cultures. He tells me every day that he does not want to return to a school that tolerates bullies by doing nothing about it.
While I had him read this, he saw some Google results for the school on my computer monitor, and he noticed that P.S.M.S. 146's slogan reads "Respect for all." Lance said, "What about respect for me?"