How do the Bucs try to lose? Let me count the ways.
1. They try to lose with penalties aplenty,
that add yards to the plays -- plus ten, plus twenty.
Offensive tackle Jeremy Trueblood cannot get through a game without a costly penalty. Last week he took his helmet off on-field to battle another player. This week he got a 15-yard unnecessary roughness penalty when he slammed into Chris Gamble's back after the Panther tackled Antonio Bryant. He was benched temporarily for the bone-headed hit, but was back in the game on the next series. Brian Clark had another costly penalty, too, with a block in the back that undid a great punt return by Sammie Stroughter (who replaced the concussed Peanut Smith).
2. They try to lose with missed field goals,
That go "kerplunk" against the poles.
Connor Barth, the guy I personally hailed as the next great Bucs' kicker, missed two out of four field goals, from just 36 yards and 42 yards. Also, Barth's kickoffs tended to land somewhere between the 10 and 20 yard line. Which is what true football experts call "really bad." New punter Paulescu was ok.
3. They try to lose by missing tackles.
Watch Jonathan Stewart as he runs by and cackles.
Now, I will say that the Bucs defense actually adjusted at halftime (just like a real football team!!) and more or less kept the game close after Carolina's first two drives. However, in the first half, Stewart ran the Bucs ragged, and he ended up with 120 yards on 26 attempts. That was enough for the win. (A Steve Smith bomb late in the game just sort of sealed the deal.)
4. They try to lose by just nose-picking
in the 2-minute drill when time is ticking.
I've never seen a team run the hurry-up as slowly as the Bucs did at the end of both halves. Linemen, receivers, even Freeman, just sauntered up to the line and into position while the clock ran down. Disgusting. Color announcer John Lynch said that Coach Rah mentioned in the pre-game interview that the Bucs had practiced the 2-minute drill all week. As Lynch repeated several times at the end of each half, "It sure doesn't look like they practiced this."
5. They try to lose by turning over the ball,
And throwing in the red zone when it's certainly the wrong call.
Cadillac Williams ran 17 times for 92 yards, with a long run of 25 yards. Ward ran five times for 32 yards. So what did the Bucs do when they had the ball on the Panthers' 4 yard line? They asked their rookie QB to throw. Interception. In fact, Joshy Freeman was intercepted in the red zone three times (and once four yards outside of the red zone) (and one other time at the Panthers' 41). So despite the fact that Freeman was making some beautiful throws to Antonio Bryant mid-field, he was also clearly having a terrible, no good, very bad day in the red zone. So to keep calling passes there? In-sane.
6. They try to lose in every way,
So how can these coaches see another day?
I could not feel more ambivalent about Coach Raheem. On one hand, I feel like the guy got the shortest end of the shortest stick, being offered a head coaching job -- of a decimated team no less -- before he was ready for it. But though Coach Rah has too little experience not to make mistakes, it is frustrating to watch him learn on the fly. So far, still no lesson learned on time management -- e.g., spending the 2nd timeout of the second half on an easily attainable 3rd and 1. (Um, your QB is 6'6"/248. Use the size.) Then there's Offensive Coordinator Greg Olson's mysterious play calling -- e.g., on a crucial 3rd and 1 in the red zone, down by 10, giving the ball not to the massive Freeman, or to the hot Caddy, or to Ward, or even to Earnest Graham, but instead to some guy named Chris Pressley who had never before touched the ball in the NFL. Ever. He didn't get the yard.
I don't know that I have ever, ever felt more frustrated as a Bucs fan, knowing that though we easily could have earned a second win and honestly should have blown the Panthers out by 21 points, the team still found a way to lose 16-6. I only hope that next week the Bucs will try this hard to win.
1. For the record, I am aware that my poetry is more Dr. Seuss that Elizabeth Barrett Browning, but go easy on me. I wasn't an English major.