October is bully prevention month, and as absurd as it is to think that a month devoted to a complex social phenomenon will have any real impact, it does shine a spotlight on an important issue. There are dedicated researchers and school reform experts worldwide, developing and evaluating interventions to create caring school environments (for example, the KiVa program from Finland, and WITS from Canada). This month, two other interventions can be celebrated, and both were developed by true experts in the field, teens themselves.
Tirsha Prabhu, an enterprising 16 year old designed ReThink, a computer application that aims to address the disinhibiting nature of online communication. We say things on line that we would not in person. We are crueler, angrier, less humane. ReThink searches for offensive phrases and alerts the sender to "rethink" whether they really wish to send the message. ReThink's research suggests that 93% of the time, when asked to ReThink, teens opt not to send the questionable message. Prabhu has won well-deserved awards for this creative use of technology to humanize our communications.
Sit With Us, an app designed by 16 year old Natalie Hampton aims to address social bullying, the exclusion and clique boundaries devastating to so many in middle and high school. Inspired by her own experience of ostracism and her observation that it greatly boosted the mood of others when she included them at her table, Hampton introduced an app that allows students to sign up for lunch "buddies".
It has long been understood that bullying, whether it involves physical attacks, emotional torment, or social ostracism, cannot be addressed without the engagement of bystanders. In schools, this means the student peers. These peer driven virtual initiatives are certainly a move in the right direction. But a caution is in order. While technology may serve as a tool for empathy and kindness, it can never be our sole route to positive social interactions. ReThink can warn us to reconsider sending messages that a computer algorithm finds blatantly hostile, but no computer can catch every instance of subtle social savagery. Will the computer know that the boy you are emailing hates when anyone mentions his red hair? Will the computer recognize that supposed complements of a teen girl's clothes are a sarcastic put-down?
Similarly, although Sit With Us allows students to invite others, and lone students to search for potential buddies, what of the students who do not have access to the technology (younger students may not have smart phones, and many schools ban use during the school day)? And what of students so demoralized or depressed that they will not engage the app, convinced that more rejection will follow?
Technological solutions will certainly play a role in bully prevention, but consider the research of Seltzer, Prososci, Zeigler & Pollack reported in the 2012 issue of Evolution and Human Behavior. They explored how girls respond to their mothers' voice via phone call versus a text message from their mom. A phone call resulted in the same positive hormonal changes as occur with a mother's physical presence, evidencing a calming influence. Text messages, however, devoid of tone and limited to the pure written form of language, had no such power to produce calm for the girls. This may change as future generations and technologies evolve, but for now the human touch, human voice, human contact is important.
This October, and throughout this year, we should focus on bully prevention and celebrate the amazing apps and tools students are creating for use in the virtual world. But let's not forget our role as the grown-ups in the very real world. Let's continue and expand our efforts to teach children and teens how to be good, kind people, caring for each other whether they are in cyberspace or sitting side by side. Let's be socially responsible bystanders ourselves, refusing to stand idly by when others are hurt. Let's be exemplars of empathic connection, demonstrating what it means to be positive contributors to our virtual and actual social community.