Chrissy Teigen said she has a story so embarrassing that not even her husband, John Legend, knows it.
But don’t expect to hear it anytime soon.
The model and Twitter sensation said it might have to wait until after her death before it’s revealed:
what is the most embarrassed you've ever been?
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) February 10, 2019
I have such a good one but I am not prepared to say it. I think it's been 4 years and I still think about it and die
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) February 10, 2019
John doesn't even know. it was hard for me to just tell him that he can never know, ever
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) February 10, 2019
I'm gonna write it on a piece of paper, put it into a sealed envelope and give it to my lawyers to tweet it when I die
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) February 10, 2019
Needless to say, the denizens of Twitter had plenty of stories of their own... and unlike Teigen, they’re not waiting until death to share them:
OH!!! I once tripped on the street and grabbed a passing man’s penis as I fell, he went down too... we both lay there and I didn’t know what I’d grabbed and he was screaming. That was WAY worse.
— Ashley Storrie (@ashleystorrie) February 10, 2019
When I was at prom and my prom date said she would be right back and she never came back and other people knew she wasn’t coming back because she went to a party with another guy so I just sat there and then finally left.
— Tony Posnanski (@tonyposnanski) February 10, 2019
But I’m popular on Twitter now so there is that.
got my bags mixed up & had to wear a HUGE suit to a wedding. THEN i got pulled over, the officer asked to search me & found powder in the pocket. said it wasn’t mine & gave him the suit owner’s #. He called, came back to my car & let me go, the bag contained his mother’s ashes!
— zooey béchamel (@floozyesq) February 10, 2019
I farted in Hot Yoga in a room full of yummy mummies. My shorts were wet so the acoustics were terrific. I wanted to die.
— eganski (@eganski) February 10, 2019
When I didn’t lock the door of an aeroplane toilet properly and a few people who were waiting outside decided to try the door. And then saw me with one leg up trying to fix my tampon. It was a very long flight.
— Sophie Heawood (@heawood) February 10, 2019
The worst bit is that they didn’t keep the door open for long enough to establish my precise activity. Just to see that I had my hand inside myself. When I finally came out again there was nobody waiting at all.
— Sophie Heawood (@heawood) February 10, 2019
I was server at a restaurant and I was taking payment from a table. The customer reached her hand out for the receipt, but I misunderstood and instead I reached out and held her hand.
— bensley mortimer (@benarmishaw) February 10, 2019
One time after a long meeting at work I ran into the restroom backed into a stall pulling down my pants without looking behind me and almost sat on someone’s lap😳
— Crafty Jenn (@jenNick72) February 10, 2019
What makes it worse? I interviewed with the woman I almost sat on two years ago, I never thought she knew it was me. She brought it up in the interview. I didn’t take the job.
— Crafty Jenn (@jenNick72) February 10, 2019
I once credit card swiped the ass of the person in front of me. I thought it was my husband. It was not my husband.
— Sydney Paige (@_sydvicious__) February 10, 2019
Im honestly still not over this lmaoo pic.twitter.com/uAmSkPhlfo
— Jordyn 🐧🎄🇨🇦 💉 (@joryleigh90) February 10, 2019
I just went to a funeral and we were shaking the family's hands and the guy said to me, "How are you?" and I said, "Good, how are you?" LIKE HIS MOM JUST DIED WHY DID I SAY THAT?!?!
— Jessica Kirchner (@Jkirchner12) February 10, 2019
I asked Gorbachev where the bathroom was.
— Max Kennerly (@MaxKennerly) February 10, 2019
FAQ:
1) No, of course I didn't realize it was him after until I asked. It was a complicated situation.
2)In the United States.
3) Yes, he politely pointed it out to me.
tripping over someone's child while carrying their xl pizza to the table probably takes the cake for me pic.twitter.com/IahgJacelS
— emily allen (@emallen_) February 10, 2019
I pooped in my pants while riding in a car with my ex (she wasn’t an ex at the time). I managed to hide it but we got in an argument about why I was acting weird. Took me almost 10 years to tell her
— elan gale (@theyearofelan) February 10, 2019
The truth is I was getting over an illness and was on the way home from a dinner I probably wasn’t well enough to go to, but my pride pushed me out of the house. During the drive home I sneezed and that did the trick. I sat in silence for the duration of the ride home
— elan gale (@theyearofelan) February 10, 2019
When we got back to my place I did not make eye contact or even open the door for her. I ran WILDLY up the stairs into my tiny valley apartment and locked myself in the bathroom. Wrapped my underwear in an old towel and threw it out the window (got it a few hours later)
— elan gale (@theyearofelan) February 10, 2019
On a business trip, I used bathroom in the airport and didn’t realize the whole backhalf of my dress got tucked into my panty hose and I walked through most of Orlando International airport showing my literal ass before one kind stranger stopped and told me. I’m still not over it
— Ferdalump (@ferdalump) February 10, 2019
My boyfriend (now husband) had visited and slept at my moms for the first time. We left and my sister called in hysterics. Her dog had gotten into the garbage and my mom pulled a used condom out of the dogs mouth. Just kill me.
— Kara Goucher (@karagoucher) February 10, 2019
I worked as a waiter at a trendy restaurant in NYC during college (I had never been one before) and I tripped and spilled a pomegranate margarita on christy turlingtons white dress while she was having lunch with Vera wang.
— nyoldman (@NYDoorman) February 10, 2019
I immediately turned the color of the margarita and started to freak out and luckily she was so nice about it and didn’t let the restaurant fire me.
— nyoldman (@NYDoorman) February 10, 2019
To this day I won’t drink pomegranate margaritas.
— nyoldman (@NYDoorman) February 10, 2019
Ed burns was also there and laughed at me from the street.
— nyoldman (@NYDoorman) February 10, 2019
I was hit in the face with a basketball on live TV in front of my entire university... 3 years later and still single I wonder why pic.twitter.com/MvELpxftHx
— Nikki (@its_nik_novak) February 11, 2019
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