Author Claire LaZebnik says that she is “on a mission to make autistic characters the stars of the show.” As the mother of a son on the autism spectrum and co-author of two non-fiction books about autism, she says that she wants her novels to reflect the wide range and full personalities of people with autism.
Everyone deserves to be the hero of his/her/their own tale—not relegated to the role of the sidekick, or the best friend, or the younger sibling. Too often, autistic characters are thrown in to give the tortured and flawed protagonist a way to reveal his fundamental decency. But people with autism can also be tortured and flawed and fundamentally decent. Shouldn’t they occasionally get to be the characters showing those qualities rather than merely the characters who elicit them?
LaZebnik’s wise and tender new book, Things I Should Have Known, is a wise and touching story of two sisters. Chloe is a pretty and popular teenager, dating a handsome soccer player and the younger sister of Ivy, who has autism and is often anxious. Chloe tries to help Ivy find a boyfriend by inviting her classmate Ethan to spend time with Ivy, but that means that she and Ethan’s cynical and unfriendly brother David have to be with them to provide support.
Chloe ends up learning many things about Ivy, about her family, about her classmates, and about herself. In an interview, LaZebnik talked about the pressure and guilt feelings that young people who have siblings with special needs can feel, why a J.D. Salinger story about a soldier with PTSD is important to her characters, and what she recently learned that she wanted her characters to learn, too.
There’s a saying that if you know one person with autism, then you know one person with autism. This book has three characters who present very different versions of autism. How did you develop them and what do they tell us about people on the spectrum?
I’ve known many people on the spectrum and they’re all completely different. I mean, of course they are. Having autism doesn’t turn you into a carbon copy of Rain Man—it just means you’re likely to have restricted interests and delays in social communication, which can range from moderate to severe. But not everyone realizes this, so it was extremely important to me that the three autistic characters be unique and have different voices and goals. Because . . . real life. Anyway, I worked hard to make their voices and personalities distinct, just as I did with my other characters. Ethan was the most fun, because he loves movies, so I made that what he enjoys talking about the most. He’s calmer than Ivy—until he gets overwhelmed and then he cuts and runs away, something Ivy would never do because she feels safest at home. Ivy’s anxiety seeps into every interaction she has: she worries that she’s making mistakes, even when she’s not. And Diana is far more confident and selfish than either of the other two. I don’t think she’s nearly as warm and loving, but we don’t get to know her as well, so it’s hard to know what she’s like at home.
The teen characters in this book have to cope with parents they see as ineffectual, putting even more pressure on them. How did that contribute to their feeling disconnected from their friends?
It comes into play most strikingly in Chloe’s relationship with her boyfriend James. His home life is very settled—two parents, three kids, nice house, etc. He’s the oldest and they all adore him. So he can be completely self-centered, think only about succeeding at school and in sports, and just relax. It’s a wonderful luxury for a teenager to not have to think about anyone else, and I think most teens are naturally inclined that way. But it also makes for a less interesting and empathetic person. When Chloe meets David, who also has an autistic sibling, they eventually realize that they share the same burden of caring and worrying more about their siblings than their parents do. Chloe’s been trying to hide that side of herself because James can’t relate to it, so it’s amazing for her to open up to someone who’s also taking on this huge responsibility.
Can having a special needs sibling make neurotypical teenagers feel that they do not have the chance or right to have problems?
Absolutely. In many families—if the parents aren’t super careful—there can be a sense of, “What are you complaining about? You’re the LUCKY one and don’t you forget it.” Which is so unfair. Every child and teenager has struggles and needs support. Too often families can become all about servicing the needs of the one child who needs the most support and that’s such a mistake: all members of a family need to learn that the world doesn’t revolve around them and that it’s not always their turn. It makes for better people all around—typical and non-typical siblings.
Chloe perhaps does not realize how poignant it is when she tells us, “And for the rest of the evening, I’m as not-weird as a girl can be. I’m so normal I’m practically invisible.” What does that mean to her and what does it tell us?
Thank you for appreciating that line! It’s one of my favorites. I think young women in our society are expected to conform to other people’s expectations way too often. Chloe has a dark sense of humor and a lot of buried frustration and outrage, and she spends a lot of her time worrying about her sister--but those aren’t attributes that are appreciated by others in an attractive teenage girl. So she suppresses that side of herself and tries to be the “fun girl.” But that’s not who she is, not really, so she feels like she’s wearing a mask. When she gets to know David, she recognizes someone who understands exactly how she feels and that allows her to be true to herself, and she realizes that's ultimately way more appealing than simply fitting in.
Although Chloe is telling us the story, we as readers understand the import of some of the developments before she does. As an author, how do you think about how and when to share information?
One of the reasons I almost always use a first-person narrator is that I like the consistency of that one viewpoint. The reader knows what Chloe knows and sees everything through her eyes. So her big discovery about her sister—which I won’t reveal here—is equally a surprise to her and to her reader. (Unless the reader is so brilliant that she sees the signs and clues that Chloe misses—because they are there.) One thing I find absolutely unforgivable in books is when the narrator knows something and keeps it a secret from the reader. That just feels like a cheat. The writer can keep things secret from the narrator but the narrator has a covenant with the reader to share information. Of course, sometimes the narrator is a little oblivious to her own bias—in this novel, Chloe is so determined to dislike her stepfather that she overreacts to the negative things he says and ignores his attempts to be kind. I think we all do that in real life. I get a little bummed when readers don’t see past her view of Ron, because I think if you actually just look at what Ron says and does, he’s not that bad. A little annoying at times, but not actually evil in any way.
Chloe genuinely loves her sister with autism, and is unselfishly protective of her. Does she have a hard time recognizing that she also has conflicted feelings about her, especially in public?
That’s where her connection to David comes in. For the first time ever, Chloe can honestly say to someone, “Sometimes Ivy drives me crazy.” She can never say that to her friends, because they’re too quick to dismiss Ivy as “messed up” anyway and that brings out her protective side. She loves Ivy too much to betray her to people who don’t understand. And she can’t say it to her mother because she’s worried that her stepfather is already too critical of Ivy. So that leaves her keeping all her frustrations to herself—but with David, she can be honest, because he feels exactly the same way about Ethan, and it’s this huge relief. The conversation where they admit to each other that they get irritated at their siblings—and feel guilty about it--is when they really start coming together.
How does J.D. Salinger’s short story “For Esme With Love and Squalor,” which Chloe’s teacher assigns, relate to what she is experiencing?
Another thing I’m thrilled you caught! First of all, I just love that story so much. I figured if I snuck it in there, maybe a reader who didn’t know it would be intrigued enough to check it out. But that story also seemed right for very specific reasons. First of all, there’s incredible sibling love in it: Esme and her brother have such a wonderful bond, and the way Esme orders him around and makes him come back and say goodbye and all—well, it’s very much like Chloe directing Ivy. And then there’s also the thing David says in my novel when the teacher calls on him—that it’s a story about a guy who thinks the world is a mess and then realizes there’s still something good in it worth fighting for. In the story it’s Esme who makes the soldier care. For David, it’s Chloe.
What do you like best about the YA audience?
The enthusiasm!
Is there something you should have known that is reflected in this book?
Yes! After Dr. Lynn Kern Koegel and I wrote our nonfiction books about autism—Overcoming Autism and Growing Up on the Spectrum—I read one very reasonable review of the second book, which took us to task for being too heteronormative in our interventions. For instance, we talk about helping a young girl with autism dress like her peers, and even mention something about dresses and leggings, I think. And this person rightfully criticized us for imposing societal norms of gender identity on people who might feel more comfortable being outside of them. I’ve thought about that ever since I read that review and, while I don’t want to spoil anything, I will say that it influenced some aspects of this novel. And I don’t think it’s a spoiler to say that Ivy really doesn’t like wearing skirts and absolutely refuses to!