Colbert Takes On Loud SunChips Bag, Noisy Wind Farms (VIDEO)

On Wednesday's "The Colbert Report," Stephen Colbert weighed in with his take on the announcement that SunChips are ditching their biodegradable packaging after complaints of it being too noisy.

Although Colbert expresses his distaste with the bag's volume due to its uncanny ability to best him in a debate, his main concern is with its compostable nature: "I don't want my snack packaging to decompose; that's a chilling reminder of my own mortality. My garbage is my legacy."

But the "environmentalist ear pollution" doesn't stop there, as Colbert reports that lawsuits are being filed in three states over complaints of the noise created by wind farms.

As always, Colbert has the solution: "Luckily we can save the planet from unpleasant sound by using new quiet coal technologies and breakthroughs in silent oil. And if we just do that much, eventually the ice caps will melt, the seas will rise, and our coastal cities will be underwater, where it's nice and quiet."