Coping Strategies When You Feel Angry

Feeling angry makes me uncomfortable. I don’t like to hold resentment towards anyone in my life. I’ve been working hard to cope with these feelings of anger so that they don’t overcome me. There are times when I “lose it” or I “say something I don’t mean” to someone I love. I feel shame and embarrassment at those times, but I try hard not to let it get me down. Anger manifests differently in each person. It can look like irritability, using sarcasm to conceal your emotions, racing thoughts, becoming forgetful, and physical tingling sensations in your body. Anger is an emotion that masks deeper issues. Underneath feeling angry, you are likely depressed, fearful, embarassed or hurt. When you’re angry it can leave you with a feeling of hopelessness. You can get through this with some specific emotional tools. Here are some coping strategies I use when I feel angry:

Breathe

When I’m feeling angry, I find myself holding my breath. It’s not intentional but feeling angry causes me to clench my jaw, tighten my muscles and stop breathing for a moment. Breathing is important when you are angry because to teaches your body and mind to slow down. You’ll be able to react in a more constructive way once you’ve slowed the racing thoughts down in your mind.

Take a step back from the situation

I have a tendency to want to fix situations. If something is “wrong” or “emotionally broken” I want to repair it and help the people involved feel better. However, there are times when there isn’t a concrete way to solve a problem. The best thing you can do in a moment of anger is to stop trying to solve the problem in that moment. There’s no instant fix to feeling angry. It takes some time to process this emotion.

Don’t Text Angry

In this age of technology a lot of communication takes place via text and email. This is something I am trying to learn, because I am extremely guilty of texting while upset. When you are feeling angry with someone in your life, don’t text your angry emotions to them. In fact, don’t text at all, unless it’s something quick like “give me a call when you have a chance so we can discuss this” or “I’d like to set a time to meet in person.” When you text emotions, there is no intonation and your intent can be misconstrued. That’s why it’s important to communicate directly with the person you are angry with.

Leave the room

When you find yourself in a heated argument and you’re worried about controlling your emotions, leave the room or whatever the space you’re in. Nothing productive is going to come from staying in that physical space when you’re angry. You may say things you don’t mean or cause more harm than good. Removing yourself from the argument allows you to calm down and see it from an objective perspective.

I hope that these techniques help you when you feel angry. I’m still working on working through anger issues. It takes time, effort and practice.