THE BLOG
09/22/2006 04:23 pm ET Updated May 25, 2011

Exclusive: CIA phone tap of Armitage's "Stone Age" threat to Pakistan!

CIA Transcription Dept.

Phone tap on Deputy Secretary Of State Richard Armitage

September 12th 2001. 4.17pm ET

Operator: Deputy-Secretary Armitage - I have the Pakistani Head of Intelligence on Line 3 sir

Armitage: Ok put the guy through...

Pakistani voice: Most humble felicitations from Islamabad! May your days be plentiful and most blessed with joy. May your loins be fruitful and...

Armitage: Cut the crap! Here's the deal. Sonofbitches from Afghanistan attacked us and we're comin' after them...

Pakistani voice: Our deepest condolences on the distressing disturbances in ...

Armitage: If any of those fuckers are in your li'l poky country we're gonna bomb the...

Pakistani voice: There are no fakirs in Pakistan! Very clean country!

Armitage: We're not playing cowboys 'n' Indians here! This is serious...

Pakistani voice: Please not to bringing Indians into this picture! Not good sir!

Armitage: Am I makin' myself clear Tonto?

Pakistani voice: Who is Tonto?

Armitage: You're either with or us or against us on this...

Pakistani voice: But our relationship with Afghanistan is most deeply complicated and...

Armitage: I don't give a rat's ass about complications boy...

Pakistani voice: But... there are thousands of years of history and...

Armitage: This is a clear choice. Black or white...

Pakistani voice: But we are brown!

Armitage: Don't give me that shit!

Pakistani voice: This is getting most scatological sahib!

Armitage: Either you're with us or against us...

Pakistani voice: But...

Armitage: And if you're against us - we're gonna bomb your little tinpot country back into the stone age - capiche?

Pakistani voice: What do you mean by "Stone Age"?

Armitage: Did you ever see "The Flintstones"? Well like that - but without the mod cons...

Pakistani voice: Goodness gracious me!

Operator: Mr. Deputy Secretary - I have Robert Novak on Line 1 and Ambassador Wilson on Line 2...

Armitage: Gotta go Tonto! So pass the message on to your big boy... oh whatsisname? Yoo know - the Sheriff...

Pakistani voice: President Musharraf?

Armitage: Yuh that's the guy - Mushroom Sheriff. Either he makes a public declaration of support for us tonight or say hello to Barney Rubble...

(click)

Pakistani voice: And by the way - what means "capiche"? Hello...? Hello...?

(tape ends)