CIA Transcription Dept.
Phone tap on Deputy Secretary Of State Richard Armitage
September 12th 2001. 4.17pm ET
Operator: Deputy-Secretary Armitage - I have the Pakistani Head of Intelligence on Line 3 sir
Armitage:Ok put the guy through...
Pakistani voice: Most humble felicitations from Islamabad! May your days be plentiful and most blessed with joy. May your loins be fruitful and...
Armitage: Cut the crap! Here's the deal. Sonofbitches from Afghanistan attacked us and we're comin' after them...
Pakistani voice: Our deepest condolences on the distressing disturbances in ...
Armitage: If any of those fuckers are in your li'l poky country we're gonna bomb the...
Pakistani voice: There are no fakirs in Pakistan! Very clean country!
Armitage:We're not playing cowboys 'n' Indians here! This is serious...
Pakistani voice: Please not to bringing Indians into this picture! Not good sir!
Armitage:Am I makin' myself clear Tonto?
Pakistani voice: Who is Tonto?
Armitage:You're either with or us or against us on this...
Pakistani voice: But our relationship with Afghanistan is most deeply complicated and...
Armitage: I don't give a rat's ass about complications boy...
Pakistani voice: But... there are thousands of years of history and...
Armitage:This is a clear choice. Black or white...
Pakistani voice: But we are brown!
Armitage:Don't give me that shit!
Pakistani voice: This is getting most scatological sahib!
Armitage:Either you're with us or against us...
Pakistani voice: But...
Armitage:And if you're against us - we're gonna bomb your little tinpot country back into the stone age - capiche?
Pakistani voice: What do you mean by "Stone Age"?
Armitage:Did you ever see "The Flintstones"? Well like that - but without the mod cons...
Pakistani voice: Goodness gracious me!
Operator:Mr. Deputy Secretary - I have Robert Novak on Line 1 and Ambassador Wilson on Line 2...
Armitage:Gotta go Tonto! So pass the message on to your big boy... oh whatsisname? Yoo know - the Sheriff...
Pakistani voice: President Musharraf?
Armitage: Yuh that's the guy - Mushroom Sheriff. Either he makes a public declaration of support for us tonight or say hello to Barney Rubble...
(click)
Pakistani voice: And by the way - what means "capiche"? Hello...? Hello...?
(tape ends)