Five More Deferments for Dick Cheney!

This week's news has been dominated by things like President Obama's good Supreme Court pick and California's not-good ruling against gay marriage. So why am I thinking about the good-for-nothing Dick Cheney?

I guess the ex-veep's hypocrisy sticks in my mind. Cheney has cultivated a tough-guy image as he backs waterboarding and calls Obama soft in the "War on Terror." But if Cheney's so tough, why did he get himself five deferments to avoid fighting in the Vietnam War? That was his chance to practice the hawkishness he preached, and he spit the bit ... big time! In fact, Cheney greeted the deferments as liberators ... from possible death in Southeast Asia.

So the next time Obama, Colin Powell, or others feel the lash of Cheney's tongue, they need only shout "FIVE DEFERMENTS!" to profile that profile in no courage. For variety, they could also use other "FD"-initialed phrases like "FRAIDY DICK!" and "FLAGRANT DODGER!"

Of course, Cheney is seemingly incapable of embarrassment, so another option would be to give him five MORE deferments. The wrathful Republican could use the time to return to college, write a history of smirking, try to raise his poll numbers higher than Satan's, whatever. If Cheney could sit out the Vietnam War 40 years ago, let him sit out the "War Against Decency and Democrats" in 2009.