Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. So each week, we round up the most hilarious 140-character quips from moms and dads to spread the joy. Scroll down to read the latest batch and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more!
One of my favorite moments with my children is when I hold them close, look at them with loving eyes, and say "I told you so."
— MotherPlaylist (@MotherPlaylist) September 17, 2017
3yo:*staring at pile of literally hundreds of toy cars*
— MyMomologue (@MyMomologue) September 18, 2017
Oh no, I'm missing one!
Nothing screams "I'm a mom" like showing up at work, forgetting I have a Batman bandaid on the back of my leg.
— Unfiltered Mama (@UnfilteredMama) September 18, 2017
Sorry I used packing tape to wrap your kid's birthday present.
— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) September 20, 2017
Toys R Us declared bankruptcy, which is ironic considering that it's been responsible for the near-bankruptcy of parents everywhere.
— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) September 19, 2017
After a long day with the kids, Kiddo decides to cap it off with a song she made up on her recorder...
— Jacques Nyemb (@jnyemb) September 17, 2017
Thanks? pic.twitter.com/VMvM9v5CS3
If you think a celebrity choosing a dress for the Emmys is challenging, you should check out my kids picking out pajamas.
— Jennifer S. White (@yenniwhite) September 18, 2017
A bra? At school drop off? What are you, some sort of celebrity?
— Anna Grace (@graceful_asfuck) September 21, 2017
My son told me he didn't need to take a lunch to school today & I feel like I just won the Mom Lottery.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) September 19, 2017
Saying "that's disgusting" is probably the highest compliment you can pay to a little kid.
— HowToBeADad (@HowToBeADad) September 21, 2017
You think you have your sh*t together and then your 5-year-old comes home and accuses you of doing her homework all wrong.
— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) September 19, 2017
favorite thing about 9yo: close call between her intrinsic kindness & fact that she believes if she sings in the bathroom you can't hear her
— Nicole Chung (@nicole_soojung) September 21, 2017
People who say don’t sweat the small stuff have never tried to pick up a thousand goldfish crumbs from between the couch cushions.
— The ParentNormal (@ParentNormal) September 19, 2017
I've got fundraiser stuff for school if anyone wants to spend $300 so my child to get a $1 bracelet.
— heather lou* (@heatherlou_) September 20, 2017
Welcome to parenthood. You now go to the grocery store every day. Every. Single. Day.
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) September 20, 2017
Me: How do you want your steak cooked?
— Rodney Lacroix (@moooooog35) September 18, 2017
Kids: Cook it so it tastes like chicken nuggets.
These fruit snacks are made with 10% real fruit juice, so I gave my kid 10 packets and now he's got his fruit serving in for the day.
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) September 21, 2017
My kids are "if i don't know they're next to me and I turn around really fast I elbow them in the eye" feet tall.
— Toni Hammer (@realtonihammer) September 19, 2017
Me: What's wrong?
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) September 19, 2017
7-year-old: *setting down her backpack* School followed me home.
Me: I missed you when we were gone.
— Mike Reynolds (@EverydayGirlDad) September 18, 2017
5: I missed you too.
Me: I missed our talks.
5: I missed you reaching cookies from the top shelf.
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
It's Another Trump-Biden Showdown — And We Need Your Help
The Future Of Democracy Is At Stake
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
Your Loyalty Means The World To Us
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
The 2024 election is heating up, and women's rights, health care, voting rights, and the very future of democracy are all at stake. Donald Trump will face Joe Biden in the most consequential vote of our time. And HuffPost will be there, covering every twist and turn. America's future hangs in the balance. Would you consider contributing to support our journalism and keep it free for all during this critical season?
HuffPost believes news should be accessible to everyone, regardless of their ability to pay for it. We rely on readers like you to help fund our work. Any contribution you can make — even as little as $2 — goes directly toward supporting the impactful journalism that we will continue to produce this year. Thank you for being part of our story.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
It's official: Donald Trump will face Joe Biden this fall in the presidential election. As we face the most consequential presidential election of our time, HuffPost is committed to bringing you up-to-date, accurate news about the 2024 race. While other outlets have retreated behind paywalls, you can trust our news will stay free.
But we can't do it without your help. Reader funding is one of the key ways we support our newsroom. Would you consider making a donation to help fund our news during this critical time? Your contributions are vital to supporting a free press.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our journalism free and accessible to all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. Would you consider becoming a regular HuffPost contributor?
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. If circumstances have changed since you last contributed, we hope you'll consider contributing to HuffPost once more.
Already contributed? Log in to hide these messages.