Some things are better off single. For instance, look at those Kraft singles of cheese. If two were in a wrapper together, they’d get stuck together. That’d be a gosh darn tragedy. And that’s why couples in relationships get too cheesy.
So if you’re single, don’t worry about it. Just tell yourself you’re a “single piece of cheese.”
(Tell yourself that. Don’t put that on your Tinder profile. Also, don’t say it out loud. Just, like, say it in your head.)
Anyway, enjoy the schadenfreude of all your fellow single pieces of cheese in Jimmy Fallon’s favorite #WhyImSingle tweets.
My dad makes me run every potential date through the sex offender registry “just in case we catch a live one.” #WhyImSingle
— Barrett Daniels (@CareBarrett6) February 9, 2017
When I eat cake I flip it upside down so that I can lick the icing off the plate when I'm done with the cake #WhyImSingle @jimmyfallon
— Alicia Baltus (@alicia_baltus) February 8, 2017
A guy I was dating sat down on the couch next to me. I proceeded to whisper "that's the cat's spot" to myself. #whyimsingle @jimmyfallon
— Emily (@christyshark89) February 8, 2017
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