I scoop up a little dollop of body butter from a small Thistle Farms jar and spread it on my legs. My skin looks tired and thirsty. "I haven't been gentle with myself lately," I think as I rub in the rich cream and take a deep breath. The sweet fragrance brings up this love-hate relationship I've had with my body ever since my teenage years, when I became aware that a woman's body can be mistaken for a commodity, something that can be used, demanded, bought, sold, or manipulated...
I reach for another scoop, and my eyes focus on the picture of the thistle flower on the jar. I'm momentarily transported from my bathroom to the place where this little jar comes from as I visualize the hands that mixed the ingredients, filled the jar, closed the lid and packed it with a card that says "Love Heals."
The hands that prepared this jar were the hands of women at Thistle Farms, a community of women who have survived prostitution, trafficking and addiction.
I don't know these women. I can't possibly imagine what they have gone through in their lives, but I feel close to them. I'm aware of the immensity of the kind of pain they've pushed through. I rub more body butter onto my arms and legs, letting the healing spread deeper than my skin. Gratitude washes over me.
I close my eyes and send a prayer of healing back to them and into the universe, to which we all belong as part of the same beautiful and broken body which can only be healed by love.
BECCA STEVENS - THE WOMAN BEHIND THE LITTLE JARS OF HEALING STUFF
I don't believe it's possible to have a lunch at the Thistle Farms' Cafe in downtown Nashville, use any of the "Love Heals" products, or read any of Becca's books without feeling surrounded by love, grace and healing. By the time I sit down with Becca for our interview on Waking Up in America, I've already begun to experience the powerful changes she and this powerful community of women are triggering in the world.
Becca Stevens is an Episcopal priest, social entrepreneur, author of nine books and founder of Thistle Farms. She was designated a White House Champion in 2011, and in 2013 was inducted into the Tennessee Women's Hall of Fame.
And under all the labels and achievements, she is a healer. She's an incredibly strong and confident woman, and at the same time a humble and vulnerable soul. Between segments of difficult topics we discuss, she makes us laugh with unpretentious and unguarded humor. She puts no walls up, has no masks on - it's just her and the truth 'as she understands it.' Her passion to heal women - and consequently the world - is contagious.
I want to know about how she overcame the sexual abuse she went through as a young, young girl. I want to know why she became a priest, especially after a church elder sexually abused her. How did she not get angry with God and run away?
"God was never my problem," she says.
Becca has a huge capacity for forgiveness, which is crucial in the healing process. "Mercy is a two way street," she says matter-of-factly. This resonates with me. I think it's the only piece of wisdom anyone will ever need in order to let go of pain, fear and anger, even though the process is always going to be difficult.
And that's why she brings to focus the importance of community.
The same church community where her abuser served also helped her to heal (through acts of love and compassion both large and small.) I'm beginning to see why Becca is able to see beauty even in the ugliest corners of our society, where abuse, addiction, manipulation and greed have a grip.
Becca founded the organization under the name Magdalene first, to help women get off the street. Her toddler son noticed an advertisement for a strip joint called "The Classic Cat" in downtown Nashville and wanted to know why the lady in a catsuit was smiling.
"The question from my son just broke my heart. It was like, at some point he's not going to ask that anymore. This is gonna fade into the landscape of what we think is normal for women. And I didn't want him to think that I thought that was all right to buy and sell women for probably less than what you need to get a cat."
When she tells me why she named the residences after Mary Magdalene, I am left speechless, feeling the impact of the love she talks about:
"I always wanted to name it Magdalene... She was the first preacher. The reason the disciples got to hear the good news of how love heals is because of her and so whatever she went through in her life.... she's the common denominator at the tomb and it was as if Jesus was lingering for her to wait. That's how much she needed to know... I wanted to feel like love would linger for me and say it's going to take you a little bit and you have a lot of rough edges and we will stay long enough for you to hear it."
Today, the community that Becca started in 1997 is reaching women across the world through 18 global partners (including Rwanda and Ecuador) and 22 sister communities in the U.S. The women of Thistle Farms are given a chance to heal, restore their dignity and learn to thrive and flourish in a safe and supportive community Over 80% of them succeed - much like the thistle that is known for its persistence in pushing through the dry, hard ground to grow, produce a beautiful purple flower and bring its healing properties into our world.
For me, the healing that I find in every jar of Thistle Farms' body butter comes with a chance to pause and consider how I treat my body, how I treat others in my community, and how I teach my three sons about the true meaning of love that 'lingers' and waits. It comes with a calling to keep working on my own heart and forgive, so I too can live out Becca's words: "I want to be as healthy as I can for my community."
Becca Stevens is an author, Episcopal priest, and the founder and President of Thistle Farms. She was named one of "15 Champions of Change" for violence against women in 2011 by the White House, Humanitarian of the Year in 2014 by the Small Business Council of America and the TJ Martell Foundation, and was inducted into the Tennessee Women's Hall of Fame in 2013. Her latest book, "Letters from the Farm: A Simple Path for a Deeper Spiritual Life," is available on Amazon.com.
DISCLOSURE: I did not receive any free product or any other form of compensation in the process of writing this blog.