How Happy Is Your Love Life?

ANYWHERE. ANYTIME. That is where you can meet your life partner, and that is when.
12/05/2011 03:18 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

ANYWHERE. ANYTIME.

That is where you can meet your life partner, and that is when. Remember that when you're sitting at home grieving over a failed relationship. Remember that when you are fed up with
being alone. Remember that when you feel so ready and have felt that way for so long and yet he or she refuses to appear.

You could be in a store, at a music festival, crossing the road, introduced by friends, in a library, in a class or at the gym. The possibilities of where you might meet are endless, and that, of course, is the beauty of it. And you don't know when that fateful moment might be, because meeting your partner is one of the things in life you cannot control, and it usually comes when you are least expecting it.

And on that day when you do finally walk up the aisle to meet your husband-to-be or wife-to-be, you will wonder why you wasted so much time being frightened and not trusting that one day this would happen to you when it has happened to so many people before you and will happen to so many after.

As anyone who has met his or her life partner will attest, it is usually a sliding-door moment that has as much to do with timing as it does with anything else. You need to be ready, your partner needs to be ready and then there is a third universal element that needs to be ready. However you choose to look at it, whether you believe in divine intervention, the planets aligning or pure luck, when you do meet your life partner, more often than not you will realize that the timing is perfect. Maybe six months previously you were living in another country or still in a relationship, or maybe your partner was still busy enjoying playing the field. Whatever was happening, one of the three elements was not in place and it is only in hindsight that you will see that timing is key.

Take my story, for instance. On August 11, 2003, the Fruitstock Music Festival was taking place in Regent's Park in London. I was there that afternoon, having a picnic with my brother and some of his friends. Simultaneously, my now husband, Oliver, walked out of his house in Maida Vale to go to his mother's house for tea. As he approached his Vespa, his neighbor, Leanne, walked out of her house at exactly the same time. One minute earlier or later and they would have missed each other.

"Hi, Oli," she said. "We're going to a music festival in Regent's Park. Do you want to come with us?"

"Sorry, I can't," said Oli."I've got to go to my mum's for tea."

"Come on," said Leanne. "Come for just half an hour. Quite a few of your old friends will be there. Nick, Charlie . . . "

"Okay," said Oli. "I'll come for fifteen minutes."

As I was sitting on the grass with a group of people, I saw a man in the distance, maybe fifty yards away, walking toward us. I got up, almost unconsciously, and walked toward him before
he was even close.

"Hi," I said. "I'm Sophie."

"Hi," he said. "I'm Oli."

We were engaged four months later.

That is how it can happen, out of nowhere and as quickly as that. ANYWHERE. ANYTIME. One day you're single; the next you're with your life partner.

There is one final aspect to this story. Oliver and I were long distance for six months. Even though I am British, I was living in Los Angeles and he was in London. When I went back to
London the following April to prepare for the wedding, we went to his aunt's house for dinner. She said, "Sophie, I have photos of you when you were a child." She went to her bookshelf and
pulled out an old album, flipped through it and opened a page of photos of her daughter's birthday party, and there I was, as a baby -- with Oli.

Perhaps you've met your life partner and don't know it yet, or perhaps you have yet to meet him. Maybe you've been single for what feels like ages, or maybe you're fresh out of a relationship and frustrated that you haven't met someone special yet. Maybe you are dating someone now but aren't sure if he or she is really "the one." If you can relate to any of these possibilities, then this book is for you.

Every one of the 50 tips in my new book "How Happy Is Your Love Life?" is designed to shift your consciousness and bring you to a place where you feel completely happy with who you are.

I'll be sharing four of the fifty tips here on The Huffington Post this week, but before you read them, I'd like you to take the quiz below (you'll find a longer 25-question version in the book itself). It will help you clarify who it is that you are looking for so that you can attract that person. And once you've met someone who is a possibility, the tips will help you determine if he or she is truly the one.

All you need to do is to keep working on yourself, drop the need, get out of the house and then let magic happen, because it will. It did for me, it does for millions of others every day and it will for you. In the meantime, enjoy this book, which I hope will be a good companion on your journey, and be sure to let me know when you meet your life partner.

Love,

Sophie

QUIZ: HOW HAPPY IS YOUR LOVE LIFE?

Read each question and select the answer that best applies to you and your love life.

1. When you finish a relationship, do you:

A. Feel an immense amount of anger toward your ex and speak critically about him to your friends and family?

B. Brush the experience and your feelings under the carpet and try to move on as quickly as possible?

C. Try to determine what worked and what didn't in the relationship and what you would do differently next time?

2. What is your attitude toward finding a partner?

A. Some people are lucky and find their partners and others don't.

B. There is a complete lack of eligible partners out there.

C. The world is an abundant place and there is someone out there for everyone, including me.

3. How similar are the people you date to one or both of your parents?

A. I find myself attracted to people with similar negative characteristics to those of my parents.

B. I find myself attracted to people with similar positive characteristics to those of my parents.

C. I date people who are nothing like my parents.

4. When you are in between relationships, do you:

A. Feel that you can't enjoy your single life because you are so desperate to meet your partner?

B. Enjoy the time that you are single and do lots of great activities, as you want to make the most of it?

C. Quite enjoy it and partake in a few new activities while you bide your time?

5. When issues come up for you in a relationship or at the end of one, how do you deal with them?

A. I sweep it all under the carpet for fear of what I might find.

B. I consciously read books, go to therapy and do other self-development programs to better myself.

C. I occasionally open up to a friend.

6. When you are dumped, do you:

A. Take a break from relationships to build up your courage before getting yourself back out there?

B. Not really care, since you are thick-skinned by now, and continue dating?

C. Vow you will never go out with anyone again?

7. If you introduce a new partner to your family and nobody particularly warms to them, do you:

A. Ignore your family's opinions (after all, what do they know)?

B. Listen and take what they say into account, although you do not let it sway you completely?

C. Drop the relationship (after all, your family knows you best)?

To get tips based on your answers, read "How Happy Is Your Love Life?," available here.

To learn more about Sophie Keller and the 'How Happy is' book series go to www.howhappyis.com.