What is the biggest culture shock you have ever faced? originally appeared on Quora - the place to gain and share knowledge, empowering people to learn from others and better understand the world.
Answer by Innocent Masengo on Quora:
Location: Germany
Shock: Men eating ice cream.
This may seem petty to most people though. Born and brought up in Africa, I grew up in a predominantly patriarchal society where most of those small, sweet things are considered feminine, the same way the world treats colors. In most of Africa ( I am from Uganda), men do not eat lollipops, candy, ice cream, or cake. These things are for children and girls/women.
When I went to stay in Germany in 2016, I became friends with Judy, a German lady from the graduate school I was attending. She made sure I felt at home, showed me around and introduced me to German ‘things’. It was summer (September), so we would ride our bikes to the beach (this was Kiel, the sailing city). One of my biggest shocks was seeing old men munching on ice cream cones.
In my home country, it is common to see a man and a woman at an ice cream parlor, with the woman eating ice cream while the man is just sitting there, waiting for her to finish. If they offer other snacks or drinks, the man will opt for a coke or tea. He will not touch the ice cream. The woman does not expect him to touch it, either. In fact, you can lose your girlfriend if you are seen eating those little sweet things. You are a sissy. You are immature.
Back to Germany. One Saturday afternoon, Judy picked me up so that we could go for our usual ride. As we rode, she suddenly stopped at a corner ice cream shop. I stopped too, as she was always the one leading the way. There were several mostly older couples eating ice cream. I tried not to make eye contact. I felt embarrassed seeing men eating ice cream. Judy ordered two cones. It happened so fast. She was ever so fast in whatever she did (like all Germans). Even while riding, I had to fight hard to keep up with her pace.
Judy handed me one of the cones. There I was, holding ice cream that I did not know what to do with. I looked right, then left. Men were munching. Nobody cared. Judy was busy eating hers. I started licking on mine after a couple of minutes, as it had started melting. I felt my masculinity leaving my body. With every lick, I glanced left and right. I prayed that no African would chance to pass by during that ‘torture’. Good enough — Kiel, being far north, has few Africans. After what seemed like an eternity, I finished the ice cream. Judy was impatiently looking at her watch, for she had finished hers about 10 minutes earlier.
That day was, in a way, a liberating experience. We ate several other ‘ice creams’ before winter set in. And I have managed to eat several ‘ice creams’ with my wife and two kids back home without so much discomfort. Of course I get the stares from passersby. And they do bother me a little, but not as much as they would have before the German experience.
This question originally appeared on Quora - the place to gain and share knowledge, empowering people to learn from others and better understand the world. You can follow Quora on Twitter, Facebook, and Google+. More questions: