Prior to becoming a mother, I had all of these grand ideas of motherhood. Most of all, I knew I was going to be amazing and so was my child.
Allow me to delight you to some of my brilliant ideas:
1. I was going to be so attentive to my child, he would never cry, want for anything or act out.
2. My child would never ever eat fast food.
3. My child would not watch TV before 2.
4. My chid would not play on a smartphone, tablet or video game console until he was, at least, 10 years old.
5. I was going to stick to the 'routine' like glue, so my child would always be well adjusted and easy to get to sleep.
6. I was going to be the best school-mom ever. Including attending classroom parties, field trips and PTO meetings.
7. I would never use foul language, or argue with my husband in front of my child.
Ok, I'm going to stop now, because surely you get the picture. I had this insane preconceived notion of what the, "perfect mother" is, and how I was sure I would be her.
Ha! I can sum those grand ideas up in three words.
Now that I am a mother, I realize all of those grand ideas were, well, crazy. Especially, for me.
I'm just not that kind of mother.
In fact, I'm not sure any mother really is? Is it possible to never screw up, or always stick to the routine? Or ONLY feed your child all-natural organic foods, and still be active and on-the-go? And that whole classroom-mom and PTO stuff, is not for me.
And showing up for carpool 45 minutes early so my kid can be picked up first? Yeah, that's never going to happen.
I tried to make a super-awesome Valentines box, but was stopped when my son decided his Star Wars Lunch box looked like a better option. Which, was the truth. My homemade valentines box was turning into a sh!t-box.
Even my son knows, I'm just not that kind of mother. And thankfully, he's cool with it.
My little guy could give a crap if I picked him up first after school. (I asked him!) He absolutely LOVES when we have to grab a meal on-the-go at a fast food place. He thinks bedtime is for the birds, so when we miss his regularly scheduled bedtime for a family night out, he's all for it. The tablet is a win-win for both of, since he can play one of his favorite learning games while I have a quiet minute to think, or get something done. (I caved to technology, but only under the pretense that my child only has access educational apps.)
The truth is, I don't really even know what kind of mother I am. I know I love my son with all of my heart, would do anything in the world for him, and above all, I try to be the best mother I know how to be. I also always try to follow my heart and instincts, even when they go against my silly pre-mother ideas.
If having a quiet, well-behaved child means crushing my lively-child's spirit, by constantly staying on him, then forget it. If being the perfect mother requires strictly sticking to a routine, wasting 45 minutes sitting in my car to pick my child up first, and spending an entire months' salary on organic meals, then forget it.
I'm just not that kind of mother.
If you too are fighting your heart and instincts in an effort to reach an idea about motherhood, stop. If you are trying to be a certain kind of mom to please society or your own mother, stop. Be true to yourself, love your child and do your very best, because I've come to realize, that's the secret to being the best kind of mother.
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
It's Another Trump-Biden Showdown — And We Need Your Help
The Future Of Democracy Is At Stake
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
Your Loyalty Means The World To Us
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
The 2024 election is heating up, and women's rights, health care, voting rights, and the very future of democracy are all at stake. Donald Trump will face Joe Biden in the most consequential vote of our time. And HuffPost will be there, covering every twist and turn. America's future hangs in the balance. Would you consider contributing to support our journalism and keep it free for all during this critical season?
HuffPost believes news should be accessible to everyone, regardless of their ability to pay for it. We rely on readers like you to help fund our work. Any contribution you can make — even as little as $2 — goes directly toward supporting the impactful journalism that we will continue to produce this year. Thank you for being part of our story.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
It's official: Donald Trump will face Joe Biden this fall in the presidential election. As we face the most consequential presidential election of our time, HuffPost is committed to bringing you up-to-date, accurate news about the 2024 race. While other outlets have retreated behind paywalls, you can trust our news will stay free.
But we can't do it without your help. Reader funding is one of the key ways we support our newsroom. Would you consider making a donation to help fund our news during this critical time? Your contributions are vital to supporting a free press.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our journalism free and accessible to all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. Would you consider becoming a regular HuffPost contributor?
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. If circumstances have changed since you last contributed, we hope you'll consider contributing to HuffPost once more.
Support HuffPostAlready contributed? Log in to hide these messages.