I don't want to brag, but I do want to share some things I've accomplished in recent years that really do make my life simpler. When I share these thoughts with people, they often say, "Hey, how do I get some of that?"
I usually blog about more serious topics in my HuffPost blogs, but today, in this week of Thanksgiving, I feel inclined to share how grateful I am for the life I've created: a simpler life. Let me share.
I live an "unencumbered" life.
I know that's a mouthful. Unencumbered, paraphrased from the dictionary means: not impeded, as in free to move, advance or go forward. It also refers to not being weighed down or burdened. For the most part, that's true for me. I do live life simply. And, proudly, I accomplished that on my own.
By the way, nowhere in the dictionary does it say that an unencumbered person has wealth. Just thought I would point that out. In fact, unless you're wondering, I DO NOT have a great deal of money and I still work as I find opportunities.
Let me explain how and why I have this life, what it brings me, what it allows me to have.
For most of my adult life, I was a wife, a mother, a professionally self-employed woman. I did for others more than I did for myself. I was a psychotherapist, a professor. Then, I became a professional/executive coach and a speaker. My life was demanding in time, in preparation, in travel. I raised an awesome child to adulthood and then began my journey of "unencumbering" my life.
After 25 years, I divorced. I downsized in all ways. I found my own apartment and never owned a house again. At age 60, I followed my dream and moved from Austin, TX to NYC merely for the adventure of it. I'd always wanted to live there, so, because I could, I moved there and started over. I sold everything, moved with just my clothes, business files, computer and two cats. The rest I needed, I bought there. I rented a small one-bedroom, pre-war apartment. I was there for the experience. I made an okay living, had a little extra to enjoy theater, opera and all that NY offered. I loved being carefree, car-free and on my own.
After six years in NY, I moved into an apartment with a "flatmate" -- a woman of my age to "co-house" -- to share space, split the rent, and have better space. To do that, I once again, sold much of my furniture and belongings and took over a bedroom and bathroom. This lasted 3.5 years. It ended only because I decided to move back to Austin, TX to be closer to my son, old friends AND to a warmer climate. Again, I only brought back my clothes, files, computer equipment and mementos. (Unfortunately, the cats had passed on to their next lifetime).
Now, I'm in Austin, beginning again, but very simply. Here I am approaching my 70th birthday. I am again "co-housing" with a woman of my age. I live in a large bedroom, have my own bathroom. I live simply, with few belongings. I do own a car now... it's needed to get around this city. The cost of the car is the only debt I have.
What does this all mean?
1. I have a simple, yet VERY happy life.
2. I could pick up and move any time and it wouldn't be complicated.
3. I live for experiences, not just for money. I have great balance in my life -- I work when I want, mostly by phone. I sometimes take days off during the week for fun, because I can... because I make my own schedule. I travel when I need to for work and when I can for pleasure.
4. In general, I live life on my terms.
But, here's the point -- I have this because I created it. It's by design.
If someone had told me 13 years ago, when I made the difficult decision to divorce, what my life would be like now, I wouldn't have believed them. I was a bit out of my element. I'd never wanted to divorce. However, I finally realized that I was very depressed and unhappy and needed a new "redo" on my life.
Finally, the "gratefulness" piece.
As you sit down at your Thanksgiving table this week, take time to look at what you are grateful for. Then, privately, at the end of the day, have the courage to look within and see if you might be pining for something more.
Have a wonderful holiday!
Ann Fry, MSW, is a Professional Certified Coach, a Professional Speaker, and a cancer survivor/thriver. She coaches executives and works with people who have a desire to re-evaluate and re-invent their lives or their corporate culture.