I love speaking in the South.
The students are usually sweet and respectful.
And I got to see my friends in Atlanta on the way to LaGrange, Georgia.
The LaGrange campus is gorgeous.
In fact the campus looks like it's been in the movies.
The head of counseling, Pamela T, cares very much about the students.
We waited to start since students were trickling in from other classes.
And waiting makes me nervous and of course, I didn't bring enough water.
Of course I lost my speech outline sheet. Even though I rarely look at it, I like to know that it's there, just in case I get off track.
The vast majority of the audience were athletes who were required to attend AND it was 11am.
As a stand up comic and speaker, doing a show in the afternoon is tough, but to trying to be funny in the morning... Oh, great.
I prayed a lot as we waited for the students to file in. "Ok, I will do my best to educate and entertain. And try to get out of the way."
Finally, I opened my mouth and spoke.
It felt like I had rented my tongue. I stumbled over words that I'd said many times before. Oh well, so much for my vocal exercises.
Luckily, I'm getting better at "letting go" of my mistakes as I speak. I just kept trying to really connect with the audience and to get all my points in.
Once I got to my personal story, they were totally with me.
You could have heard a pin drop.
They were so quiet and focused.
And yet, one of my jokes that Always gets a laugh did not hit at all. So I kept going, but inside, I was thinking, "Oh no."
But then, other self deprecating comments, coming from a place of truth and vulnerability, got huge laughs.
It goes to show that you just never know.
And I guess what I keep learning over and over, is that when I am authentic, vulnerable, and coming from the place of trying to make a difference, then the audiences will come along with me for the ride.
That is how we learn. We learn from stories.
It's one of the oldest human traditions: sitting around a campfire or in a cave, telling stories.
While I love film and TV, I hope that there will always be live speaking and live theatre, because no matter how much we "evolve" humans still need to connect with real life - flesh and blood.
I just heard a statistic that humans have been making art for 30,000 years, but only doing agriculture for 10,000 years. That really stood out to me.
Now back to my speaking engagement with LaGrange College.
I'd been asked to put my cell number on a slide so that if students had questions they could text me, even if they were too embarrassed to ask. I was a bit apprehensive that I'd get some lewd or just plain silly comments, but no, that was not the case. I got love and kudos.
Text after text came in after I spoke, thanking me for being brave; thanking me for telling my story; thanking me for coming to their school; and thanking me for my commitment to make a difference. And these were athletes! Tough, competitive, athletes.
I also had the privilege of meeting with the graduate students working on their social work/therapy degrees. Many of them were sexual assault survivors, like me, who wanted to work with survivors to help them be able to process and move on.
It's been a few weeks since I spoke at LaGrange College, and since then, there have been more shootings and assaults on campuses. And more women coming forward about Bill Cosby.
Because I am so open in my life about my sobriety and about Sexual Assault Prevention, Awareness and Response, many people tell me things they've never told anyone else before. It happens all the time.
I met two more women who confided in me that they had been sexually assaulted while in college, but they were just starting to deal with the shame and emotional blocks now.
I knew that I had to finish this blog and start another one, then get ready to speak at another college and hopefully a high school too.
I don't have all the answers, but I do know that if I continue to speak out against rape culture and victim blaming and shaming then I can keep talking about personal responsibility and active bystanders.
I trust that I was able to connect with 800 athletes who "got it", even at 11am when they did not want to be there at first, but waited in line to hug me, along with their coach. And I believe that if they got the message, then I can speak to 800 or 8,000 more.
We can change our culture. I believe it.
Thanks for having me, LaGrange College.
Where can I speak next?