I know, I know this feels like the worst feeling in the world. Its summertime, you guys recently broke up and you are suffering from what you believe is separation anxiety. While there may be some truth in that fact, and psychologist state that break ups are akin to getting over addiction, i.e. withdrawals and constant rumination. You my friend are going to make it. As the writers of He’s Just Not That Into You state, “It’s Called Break up because it’s Broken”. You broke up for a reason and be it God or the Universe who allowed this, there is a purpose behind this season in your life. So let’s make the best of it. (I know I am now that annoying friend in your ear) here it is your summer soundtrack to that break up. This is compiled of five 2016 summer hits and meanings that will catapult you into a fresh start. Let us begin.
- “Love Yourself”- Justin Bieber
Cause I’m moving on. Yes, you are moving on no matter how long it’s been, you have walked way, not contacted them, now you are done with the hard part. Now it’s time to get on your grind and love yourself. What does this mean, well... it means moving into your purpose (don’t get frustrated if you don’t know what that is, but at least move into altruism). It means moving out of the old and into the new. How does that begin? Motivation. Be motivated by the break up or something else. Here you begin the process of forgiving your ex and yourself for whatever may have occurred. Here you even begin a mantra (I love myself, I love myself, I love myself), that’s it, continue this.
- “Me, Myself and I”- G-Easy and Bebe Rexha
No. I am not saying be selfish but know your self-worth. When you know your self-worth you won’t settle for less than you deserve. You do self-care which means making healthy choices. You don’t go out and hook up with as many people as possible, you don’t drink yourself under the table, and drunk text/ sext because of it. You eat better, you work out more, your learn more and build up yourself spiritually. You grow and gain insight to move you in the best place possible. So, for once you care about yourself more than that person. Make a plan, move with it.
- “Sorry not Sorry”-Beyoncé
Yes. It’s over, and he may or not be trying to get you back. But this is the time that either way you don’t apologize about who you are, what you have done, you already did that when you were focused on loving yourself (and you will continue to do so). You get out in the world and mingle. You hang with your friends, you have a social life again. This is not Brandy and you aren’t “Sitting up in your room”, thinking about what Keith Urban describes as a “Wasted Time”, no you are getting out and enjoying the only life that you have. Yes, so that means getting in formation. You are looking better than ever since you have begun working out, and taking care of yourself. Now don’t apologize.
- “Can’t Stop this Feeling”- Justin Timberlake
Break ups are hard. Some days you feel great, and sometime not so great. When you do feel great, CELEBRATE. When you don’t, find something small to celebrate. Be empowered. You are an amazing individual, and they were not the right person for you. But you learned from this. Celebrate the milestones. Whether it’s been months since you called, you began a new job, or you are starting a new project. You are progressing and that is an amazing feeling. Embrace it and love it. You have earned it. Celebrate each day, and as you do this. You won’t feel the need for pity parties.
- “Dangerous Woman” (or man) – Ariana Grande
Yes. You are. You are all that, you are a force to be reckoned with. You love yourself, you have spent some time focusing on your life, you aren’t apologizing for who you are, and you are celebrating life. All of this is a recipe for a dangerous piece of work. Not dangerous in a bad way, but dangerous, like fearless, knowing who you are being the best you have ever been. It’s similar to when MJ said I know I’m bad and you’re looking your best and feeling your best. You have begun seeing other people and starting new things. Although they may never see you as this dangerous individual you see you as this person and that’s all that matters. There you have it. Your summer break up soundtrack. Play these and any other encouraging songs as pick me up’s and reminders that it indeed gets better, and that break up was just a set up for your greatness.
Alexis Maston is a Ph.D., poet, and promoter. She travels the U.S. and abroad telling stories of survival, faith and resilience. She can be reached at alexis_maston@hotmail.com, or Dralexismaston.com