Welcome to the tribe!
Not all of us are kvelling about the news. As Tevye says to God in 'Fiddler On The Roof' - "I know we are your Chosen People... But once in a while can't you choose someone else?"
But for better or worse - we have you. Just in time for the Jewish New Year too. L'shana tovah! (Happy New Year!)
Now the tough part.
Ten days after the New Year comes Yom Kippur. The Jewish Day Of Atonement.
When you atone for all your sins. You fast for 24 hours and make serious atonement for your misdeeds. (This means no fressing kasha varnishkes - and you have to clear out all the farshtunken thoughts in your head.)
Start taking inventory George. Serious inventory...
It's truly tragic that over 60 years after the defeat of the Nazis, your mother still did not feel comfortable about revealing her Jewish heritage to her own son. She only revealed it when you pushed her on the matter after reading about it in a magazine.
What a sadness that your mother (who I'm sure you hold very dear) felt that she couldn't even tell her eldest child this important information until he was 54 and pressing her for it.
(My son the paskudnyak! Nu?)
Your mother has explained that her reticence was in part because of residual fear of the Nazis and of bigotry here in the US.
I'm sure you are also asking yourself what it was about YOU that inhibited her from confiding in her first-born?
(What am I? Some kind of shmendrik already?!)
Could her reticence have been anything to do with the fact that her son chose to flaunt the Confederate flag while he was at school? (Even though you weren't born or raised in the South - and never went there till you were 19.)
That you wore a Confederate flag pin for your high school senior class photo?
That you displayed a Confederate flag on your car all through high school, college, and even in law school (where your student deferment protected you from having to fight in the Vietnam war that you were such an ardent supporter of)?
That you even used a Confederate flag in your TV spots for Governor in 1993?
That as Governor of Virginia you initiated contact with the self-styled 'Council of Conservative Citizens' (CCC), one of America's largest white supremacist groups - officially designated as a hate group by the Southern Poverty Law Center and the Anti-Defamation League?
(As you well know - the CCC grew out of the segregationist White Citizens' Councils of the Jim Crow-era South - a successor to the Ku Klux Klan.)
Shemen zikh mit George! Shemen zikh mit... (For shame George! For shame...)
Perhaps your dear mother saw all that behavior as indicative of someone she felt might not be especially tolerant of minorities and thus unlikely to be sympathetic.
(Oi gevalt! Such tsooris you gave your poor mother!)
The good news is that you ARE proud of your Yiddishe Mama. Biz hundert un tsvantsik! (She should live till 120! Long life to her!)
The bad news is that atonement doesn't come easy in the Jewish faith.
It's not three quick "Hail Mary's" and instant absolution.
Not even three "Hey Moishe's"...
You really have to repent.
In your case:
• For your longtime embrace of the hateful Confederate flag...
• For your embrace of the hateful CCC (ne KKK)...
• For your use of that racial slur "macaca" (and subsequently lying about it)...
• And for much more besides.
You know what... (And so does The Big Guy.)
(Fellow Member of the Tribe)