McCain: Leave My Many Homes Alone!

Senator John McCain is frequently depicted as the sort of frustrated old man who would yell at kids to "Get Off My Lawn!" But this is unfair. There are probably kids standing safely on his lawn this very moment, because McCain owns so many homes that he cannot possibly guard all of them at once.

McCain's collection of manses and luxe condos became a sore spot for him after he was asked how many homes he owns, and finding that the helpful Joe Lieberman was not on hand to whisper the one-to-two digit number that is the answer into his ear, said, "I think -- I'll have my staff get to you." This provided comedy gold to the Obama campaign, who had for months seemed not to understand that one is allowed to criticize one's opponent.

But McCain hit back by pointing out that Obama lived in Chicago's RezkoDome, where the Weather Underground frolic, and there are such elitist features such as hot AND cold running water. And who can even keep track of how many homes McCain has anyway? Different people in this Politico article say he has four, six, and seven homes! Isn't the point here that if you multiply the number of McCain homes by the zero homes I own, you get zero homes?

And who would begrudge the reluctant war hero his real estate? Well, I sort of would, when he says cockamamie nonsense like this:

"I define rich in other ways besides income...Some people are wealthy and rich in their lives and their children and their ability to educate them. Others are poor if they're billionaires."

And that's Saint John McCain scratching a CROSS IN THE DIRT for a NATION OF WHINERS. Still, if I had to be poor, I'd have to guess that the "billionaire" option would be pretty awesome. I'm guessing McCain could relate!