COMEDY
02/02/2017 06:05 pm ET

Ugh, More Winter ... Here Are Some Delicious Groundhog Recipes!

The more wintery it gets, the more delicious you are, groundhog!

Well, on Thursday, Punxsutawney Phil the groundhog popped out of his hole, saw his shadow, and sobbed like a baby while fleeing into his namby-pamby hideaway. So, we’ve got six more weeks of winter.

Well, since we have a lot of time to sit indoors — because of, you know, all the winter — let’s talk cooking. Specifically, let’s talk cooking groundhog! 

Here are some of my favorite recipes featuring this yellow-bellied mammal!

Groundhog Stew

1. Rip one cowardly groundhog from his warm and cozy hole.

2. Skin, add to slow cooker filled with vegetables of your choosing.

3. Serves the rage-filled hunger of 1.

Andrea Izzotti via Getty Images

 

Groundhog Enchiladas

1. Wrench one shaking, trembling groundhog from its snow-free lair.

2. Skin and shred into pieces.

3. Wrap in warm tortillas, top with cheese, serve with beans and rice.

4. Shred furiously into pieces a second time.

mirecca via Getty Images

 

Groundhog Burgers

1. Snatch that furry decision-making beast from its god-forsaken mucky squalor.

2. Skin and grind up until blood lust is satiated.

3. Watch creepily as grounded groundhog sizzles on grill.

3. For a healthier option, use wheat buns!

© Justin Lo via Getty Images

 

Groundhog Shish Kebabs

1. Thrust a sharpened pike into the cavernous hole of that spineless, lily-livered rodent.

2. Serve atop rice. 

3. Oh, cook to taste.

photopulse via Getty Images

 

Groundhog cake

1. Seize that shadow-seeing rat in your clenched fists and then wring its little neck!

2. Serve with cake.

HuffPost Illustrations

Note: No groundhogs were harmed during the making of this post. But we’re shaking our fists and glaring like there’s truly no tomorrow.

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