President Obama punches a Wall Street Banker in the face. Terrorists plant Decoy Muslims on U.S. soil. New diet suggests imagining food as horrific nightmares. These are the stories the traditional news outlets won't touch, but one brave network conquers them all: The Onion News Network.
America's premiere satiric news network, brought to you by America's Finest News Source, now has its own television show on IFC. As part of the New York Comedy Festival, the ONN's writers and producer will be taking questions from fans during a panel discussion at the Paley Center for Media this Friday, Nov. 11.
"We're open to answering any questions people have about what it's like inside the world's most terrifying news organization," Senior Writer Dan Mirk told The Huffington Post. "We'll reveal all of our secrets."
For example, which segments do the creators of this alternate news universe find the funniest? Mirk cited the aforementioned
Obama punches banker story as well as their hardline exposé on the grim underworld of spouse-fighting rings and the CIA's highly successful domestic spying program known as "Facebook," from season one of the show.
"We're excited to talk about our favorite bits from the past," Mirk said. "For instance, we make a lot of horse jokes. For some reason we find them hilarious."
You may also hear about the many times people mistake the ONN's "news" for the real thing. Like its newspaper predecessor, The Onion News Network strives to closely resemble that which it parodies, making it hard for some people to realize it's a joke (even with headlines like these) and the resulting backlash can be hilarious.
"A while back we ran a story about Shawn Johnson being put down after she hurt her leg at the Olympics, like a horse would," Mirk recalled. "Johnson herself had to tweet that she was still alive."
"It really shakes your faith in the intelligence of humanity," he admitted.
Celebrities such as Ben Stiller and Glenn Beck have made appearances on the ONN, but when asked who the staff would really like to see contribute, Mirk said they like to consider themselves as "bigger than any celebrity." But, if they could have one dream guest, it would have to be that walrus who plays the saxophone. Or, Ice-T.
Friday's panel will reveal more funny tidbits like that as well as serious stuff about the inner workings of the ONN. Moderated by New York Times reporter Brian Stelter, it will include head writer Carol Kolb, executive producer Julie Smith and writer Lang Fisher in addition to Mirk. You can buy tickets here, and catch "ONN" Fridays at 10:00 EST/9:00 CST on IFC.
WATCH: A recent ONN segment on the GOP's "Coma Candidate"