School Is Starting: A Letter To My Kids

School is starting so I thought I would write a letter to my kids. We can all use a little sarcasm in our day, right?

Dear Kids,

It’s hard to believe school is starting soon and summer is over. I thought we should take this opportunity to go over a few things. Since it’s a new year, and you’ve had a busy summer, I wanted to make sure we’re all on the same page.

No need for unnecessary arguments.

It’s been a hard summer for you and I know we expect a lot. You’ve traveled all over Europe, taken tennis and golf lessons and spent time at the beach. Not to mention sleeping late, binging on Netflix and hanging out at the pool with your friends. I know it’s been a daily challenge.

Because of your hectic summer, I want to make sure we’re on the same page. To spell it all out. No need for any miscommunication or confrontation. Lets start the year off right.

1. When you come home, please feel free to dump your book bag, gym bag and shoes in the hall or kitchen. The house will be clean by the time you get home, so messing it up again is fine. It will give me something to do tomorrow, when you’re at school. It makes the hours when you’re at school go by faster. If I can’t be with you, at least I can be with your mess.

2. Feel free to volunteer me for anything and everything. Especially before asking me if I mind. Of course I don’t mind. Making homemade treats, no problem. If they need a mom to help in the library, make phone calls or attend a field trip, I’m their girl. Sign me up for anything and everything. And, of course you don’t need to let me know in advance. I like living on the edge and I’m all about being spontaneous.

3. I know you aren’t going to be in the mood to do homework. After all, you just went back to school. But, that’s where I can really shine. I’m happy to help you do your homework. Especially the word problems. They’re my favorite. If you don’t feel like studying, bring it to me and I’ll spoon feed you the information. I’ll even make you a practice test, but only because I love you so much. Knowing I’m smarter than a ninth and twelth grader makes me happy.

4. Haven’t done your summer reading? No problem. I’ll read the books for you while you’re at school and then summarize them for you when you get home. This will maximize our time. I’m sure your teachers won’t mind at all. Nothing says FUN like the classics. And after that, lets snuggle up on the couch and watch the movie of the book. We’ll be spending quality time together and you’ll be soaking up the themes of your summer reading. Talk about efficiency.

5. I’m happy to pack your lunch for you. Even if you don’t eat it. It’s not a big deal for me to go to the store, spend money on expensive food, take the time to make your lunch and then have you not eat it. I know it can be a real bummer to open your lunch and see something you “just aren’t in the mood for.” And when you’re up for it, ask me to go to your favorite restaurant and bring you lunch from there. I serve at the pleasure of my kids.

6. I know it can be hard to decide what to wear to school. A girl always needs to look her best and I fully understand this. Feel free to toss your clothes all over your room and I’ll just go in behind you and hang everything up. I’ll put them away again, or even rewash them. I know it can be exhausting to hang up your brand new clothing. I feel your pain.

7. If you leave anything at home, don’t think twice about calling or texting me. I’ll bring you whatever you need. I don’t mind stopping what I’m doing, taking the time to go home to fetch what you’ve forgotten and driving it to you. I like to see how many times in a day I get to drive to your school. Maybe, I’ll stop by Starbucks and bring you a coffee. Just text me your order. And, ask your friends what they want also. We can all use a little pick me up during the day, and I fully understand how an eight hour school day is almost too much for you.

8. Lastly, if you’re having a hard day at school, don’t feel like being there, want me to sign you out early or just aren’t in the mood for school, please text me you complaints. I like getting a slew of messages from you. It makes me feel special. You shouldn’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.

It’s going to be a great year and I’m ready to make your life as easy as possible.

Oh, and let me know if you need more school supplies in case the hundreds of dollars we spent weren’t enough. I’ll be sure to get on it.

Love,

Mom

P.S. PLEASE FORWARD THIS TO OTHER MOMS AND DADS YOU KNOW...THEY MIGHT GET A GOOD LAUGH, AND WE CAN ALL USE A GOOD LAUGH...

Dara is an inspirational speaker and writer and you can read more from her at her blog, Crazy Perfect Life.