By Morgan Pak, WiSci STEAM Camp participant
My journey to self discovery mirrors the art of science itself-- full of curiosity, challenge, exploration, and awareness to reach a conclusion. Growing to accept my own identity has been a journey somehow inexplicably linked to embracing science.
I have always been one to test everything out. As a young girl, I found a strange comfort in the study of science--this method of taking the vast, infinite unknown and decoding these mysteries into something clear and understood. Science provides the clarity to understand and fully perceive the world we live in. By eliminating a plethora of possibilities with truth, it gives one the power to transform the abstract into something tangible, definite.
Creativity and imagination are essential when it comes to successful application of the scientific method. I was raised to ask the "why" and the "how." The lives and works of Marie Curie, Clara Barton, and Sally Ride became my companions. As my mother gifted me with biographies of strong female pioneers, she also gave me the gift of dreaming. She explained that "your future and your impact on the world is as big as you let yourself dream." These biographies would go to show me just how far a dream could go. By volunteering in Turkey and Thailand, I saw the need first-hand for better distribution of resources in developing countries. In Thailand there was an entire population of tribal natives, that were unaccounted for and ignored. In Turkey, women were still very much second class citizens, unable to directly interact or communicate effectively without a man. I wanted to fix things, but I was never quite sure how.
Although the validity that follows science has always been a comfort for me, for so long I tried to reject this. It was an interesting dynamic between myself and the stereotypes surrounding my identity. I grew up thinking that the only way to become a female scientist was to not care about my outward appearance and have no social life. I also grew up not wanting to assimilate to the Asian stereotype that we only do math and science. In addition, the people around me made me feel like my love for science was something to be ashamed of. Through microaggressions they would constantly remind me how science wasn't the place for someone like me-- a girl. Instead of following my love for science, I pushed my passion away. I thought that liking science would make me abnormal, and yet another stereotype. I struggled with what others thought of me and allowed that to dictate my own ability.
As I entered my second year of high school, I started to ask myself questions. I soon discovered how accustomed I had become to hiding, covering my true self. I was not letting myself fully entertain possibility and potential. I ignored the intuition that had formulated the various hypotheses I used to approach life.
As with any experiment, I jumped. I dove into the unknown and found the missing part of myself in the process of looking for answers. When I learned about things like Le Chatlier's Principle, Hess' Law, and the basics of quantum physics, a piece of me was rediscovered each time. Like an electron next to helium, I too came back to who I really was. Back in an environment where I was doing what I loved, my confidence slowly fit back together and became whole.
Science is powerful. It was what I had let go, but came back. As it was lost before, science means so much more to me now that is has been found. Science is far greater than a class, textbook, or lecture. It is what reminded me of who I am and equipped me with the courage to embrace the quality I love most about myself-- my thirst to know why, in order to find what is needed to fix a problem and how it should be done.
I have always had the dream of becoming a problem solver and am now discovering the tools to turn this into a reality. I look to further grow my ability to analyze and comprehend, to prepare myself for a world full of problems needing effective, creative, sustainable solutions. Science gives me the power to create real solutions to real problems. Science gives me the power to cross imagination with fact. Science gives me the power to explore beyond what is known. Science gave me the power to find myself.
Morgan is a student from always sunny SoCal. She is passionate about giving a voice to the underrepresented, providing help to the overlooked, and peanut butter. In the future she hopes to find a career in the intersection of global health policy and culture to create effective, sustainable solutions.