You all know by now that my track record as a parent has some major blemishes on it. Actually my entire track record as a human has some major blemishes on it. I have admitted that at times I am just an okay parent. Many days I am the parent that struggles to just make it through the day without having a nervous breakdown.
I share my #momfails all the time. Encourage people to not take them too seriously. We can’t take ourselves too seriously. If we did, we would all be miserable. And I have been there. I have had my downright miserable times. I have cried in a ball on my couch while drinking wine straight out of the bottle and watching a Teen Mom marathon with greasy hair and leggings with holes.
Lately, the word grace has been showing up in different places for me. Church, Facebook, books, even the newspaper. To be honest, I had never really thought about the true meaning of grace. I just thought of being graceful, like being able to do yoga without falling on your face - another thing I have not accomplished.
I did a little googling and was honestly relieved by what I found. Grace isn’t just something that has to be thought of in a religious way. It means showing love to people that are unlovable at the time. Forgiving yourself and others for making a mistake. Accepting that no one is perfect and showing them love and acceptance anyway.
The whole concept of grace just made me smile, maybe it’s the pregnancy hormones, but hey, I’ll take a smile any day.
As parents, we have to show ourselves grace. We have to celebrate the great parts of life, even the smallest ones. We have to stop rushing and planning and carpooling and living by our calendars sometimes. We have to stop and play, enjoy life, and give our little ones huge hugs. We have to show our babies grace. We have to go easy on them when they are having their bad days. Give them hugs when they get frustrated and can’t stop crying.
I know this is so much easier said than done. A million times easier said than done. I am 100 percent guilty of losing my patience and yelling at my two year old. Or skipping playing with him so I can get a little extra work done. Or being angry at him for being an unlovable toddler monster at times. But I have to show him grace. Give him big hugs and let him know that it will be okay. That his Mommy will always love him no matter what.
Disclaimer: This does not mean I don’t think I should discipline my child. It just means that I need to show him love when he is having a bad day.
Another thing I am guilty of is being a slave to my schedule. If I can plan something, I will. I also don’t know how to say no. I overextend myself even when I know that there are other things I should be doing. I need to show myself some grace. Slow down. Chill out. Spend time with my family. Do something I enjoy. Take a breather. Not live my life by the shared calendars on my phone.
As parents, we focus a lot on the negative. So I wanted to take this time to talk about some #MomWins. The small things we do day in and day out that we probably don’t give ourselves enough credit for. And it’s these small wins that make us so deeply loved by our babies. The little things they will remember at the end of each day when they lay down in bed. And because we all deserve to show ourselves a little grace for our #MomFails.
- First off, we love our kiddos. We love them so, so much. So much that we can hear a baby crying from a mile away in the middle of a dead sleep. And though we might not be happy to get up for the fourth time in the middle of the night, nothing makes your heart melt more than seeing that sweet baby fall back asleep. Also because that means you get to go back to sleep.
- We feed them each and every day. We might be feeding them Cheetos and a questionable juice box from the back of the fridge, but we are feeding them. That’s a big deal.
- We give them kisses and hugs. I feel like sometimes I don’t do this enough, but I never send my little nugget off to the baby sitter without a kiss and a hug.
- We tell them we love them. Because we do. And they know it.
- We take care of them when they are sick. I have even done that gross awkward thing where your kid is puking and you don’t know how to react and just hold your hands out so they puke in them.
- We miss them. Sometimes. Some nights I feel like i’m putting a little turd to bed but then I lay down and I miss him! What the hell!? How does he do that to me?
- We do tiny things each day to put a smile on their face. I race down the steps with my toddler almost every morning because he thinks it is the best thing ever.
I know this all sounds so basic. So simple. Big deal, I feed my kid and let him puke on me. But that is a #MomWin. Give yourself some credit. Be proud of the immense amount of love you have for your children, even when you want them to just leave you alone. Show yourself some grace Mom. You deserve it.
For more, visit my blog at HashtagMomFail.com!