COMEDY
01/04/2017 05:31 pm ET

So Far, These Are The GOP's Best Alternatives To Obamacare

Wait, we all get a puppy, too?

Mike Pence announced on Wednesday that the Trump administration’s “first order of business” will be to repeal Obamacare. So far, no alternative has been proposed by the GOP, which leads us to ask, “Do they even have an alternative plan?”

The answer is yes! We’ve consulted with our many Republican contacts ― at least the ones who would meet in an area that wasn’t too “urban” ― and these are the ideas they say are being offered up as alternatives to the Affordable Care Act, aka Obamacare. 

  • The Holy Spirit -- all you can handle! Until your soul is stuffed sick!
    Kim Doucette via Getty Images
  • A week-long pass to Golden Corral! Mmmmm!
    Kenneth Kully via Getty Images
  • Lifetime supply of thoughts and prayers! Ooohhhhmmmmmmm!
    David Rosenberg via Getty Images
  • Sarah Palin. No, seriously, she needs something to do!
    Michael Schwartz via Getty Images
  • You all liked the "Hunger Games" movies, right? … Oh, no reason.
    shutterstock
  • J.J. Abrams can't miss, eh??
    He'll turn this Republican franchise around!
    Axelle/Bauer-Griffin via Getty Images
    He'll turn this Republican franchise around!
  • Cure yourself right MEOW with some wonderful healing kittens!
    GK Hart/Vikki Hart via Getty Images
  • Or Joss Whedon if J.J. Abrams has scheduling conflicts!
    Jason LaVeris via Getty Images
  • Your illness won't be so RUFF with these healing puppies!
    Jean Louis Aubert via Getty Images
  • Your very own ditch!*
    *Water, grass and dirt not standard.
    PHOTO 24 via Getty Images
    *Water, grass and dirt not standard.
  • Or upgrade to the roomier, luxury ditch with abandoned car!
    PHILIPPE HUGUEN via Getty Images
  • Oh, the Republicans know an affordable physician, too! It's their friend Dr. ... Jim ... Beaper ...
    toshimself via Getty Images
  • "No, but seriously, our plan is ---"
    Bloomberg via Getty Images
  • What, a bouncing ball, oh boy!
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