While watching the clips of Sonya Sotomayer during the confirmation hearings for her Supreme Court nomination, I was astounded by her exemplary ability to remain calm and stand her ground. This woman is a rock. And no matter what side of the political line we fall on, she has something to teach us all about keeping cool under pressure. Here, some tips inspired by the "wise Latina" when faced with criticism in your own line of work.
Never raise your voice. It's a dead giveaway that you're under pressure. Maintain a neutral tone and pretty much anything you say will sound controlled and cool. Also, drop the "I" from your sentences. Composed people make statements, they don't offer opinions.
Don't get defensive. Instead of blurting out "Are you serious? Me? Disagreeable?" ask your boss to give you an example of your supposed bad behavior. This'll show them that you may not have realized you were doing something wrong but you're willing discuss it.
Be proactive. If you're lacking a specific skill, then sign up for a class to get up to speed (maybe your company will even foot the bill). If your boss is concerned about how you dress, enlist the help of a trusted friend or a personal stylist. If you're consistently missing deadlines, set up reminders in Outlook. Make sure to let others know that you're working toward becoming an even better employee.
Embrace feedback. It's way better to make a correction early on in your career than to discover years later that your memos were offensive or that everyone could overhear your conversations with the gyno. Check in with your boss before your annual review to see if there are areas that need improvement. You can also talk to a trusted colleague to see if she's noticed any areas that should be adjusted. That way you aren't in for any nasty surprises when it's time to negotiate a raise.
Know where to draw the line. If your boss makes a derogatory statement about your religion, ethnicity, or gender, it's a given that the behavior's completely unacceptable. But what about the gray areas, like subtly embarrassing you during a staff meeting or outwardly grabbing your shoulder? Anything that's generally a personal put-down rather than constructive performance-related criticism is a form of harassment. And you've got to let your challenger know immediately that you won't take it. The sooner you face the problem head-on, the quicker and easier it'll be to reach a resolution.
Nicole Williams' latest book, Girl on Top, is now available for pre-order on Amazon.com. Click here to read more about the book!