Teasing The Tower Of London Beefeaters: It’s No Laughing Matter

One of the most time-honored traditions for London visitors is to try to make the Beefeaters, who stand solemn guard at Buckingham Palace and the Tower of London, laugh.

The desire may derive from an I Love Lucy episode where Lucy attempts the same feat, but whatever the source, it’s highly frowned upon.

Two Beefeaters stand guard at the Tower of London, hard by the building that displays the Crown Jewels.

A guardrail, no pun intended, separates the young men in the huge Grenadier fur hats from the teasing masses.

A Tower of London visitor guide, himself dressed in full medieval regalia, made clear that the British view the matter of teasing the Guards with extreme dismay.

“It’s disrespectful,” he said. “These young men are in our military and it’s their job to stand guard over the Crown Jewels, which symbolize our history. Trying to make them laugh is just wrong.”

And yet.

As visitors queue to see the crowns, ceremonial swords, and the orb that a new British monarch holds, symbolizing the ruler’s sway over the Church of England, there’s something inside many visitors—perhaps not all, but certainly many—that wants to see these young men laugh.

Maybe it’s the Lucy episode.

Maybe it’s the egalitarian desire to explode pomposity wherever it may be found.

Or maybe it’s just naughty fun.

There’s a YouTube video circulating that shows a young man standing next to a Beefeater, prattling on and on about how they went to school together, and even back then, the Beefeater-to-be was a man of few words.

“Ask him anything and he would say yes or no,” the visitor faux-reminisced. “’What’s your name?’ ‘No.’ ‘What kind of name is “No”?’”

And so on, until the poor Beefeater finally cracked, and cracked up.

There’s far more to the Tower of London, of course, than annoying the Beefeaters.

For one thing, there’s almost a millennium of British history to be experienced – the Tower was begun in the late 11th century, just after the Normans conquered, and has been home to kings and prisoners pretty much ever since.

The Normans weren’t just fighters; they were also construction geniuses who built things to last. The Tower grounds have undergone changes, expansions, fires, and near-death experiences in World War II, but the original 11th century building still stands and welcomes millions of visitors each year.

Of course, the most striking thing at the Tower of London is the display of the Crown Jewels; my advice―go early in the day and visit the Jewels before you see the rest of the Tower, because lines can be two hours long on weekend afternoons.

Once you’re inside, you’ll see the crown that Queen Elizabeth II wore at her investiture more than 60 years ago, the aforementioned orb, a sword with the largest diamond in the world (“so far,” as a guard helpfully advises), and plenty of other crowns and royal accessories.

Did you know that the new Queen (or King) only wears the main crown for a few minutes at her (or his) inauguration at Westminster Abbey, and then wears a different crown for the annual opening of Parliament?

And that you will see rubies from India the size of an infant’s fist on one of the other crowns?

Queen Elizabeth II has had the good fortune, unlike most of her predecessors, to live in a time of relative peace, central heating, and indoor plumbing.

It’s not known whether she ever visits the Tower late at night, to ponder the often bloody fate of her royal ancestors or to try on the various crowns on display.

But if you are visiting London for the first time, it makes enormous sense to make the Tower of London your first stop. It gives you a quick and comprehensive sense of the sweep of British history, from the Normans to the present day.

Just one thing.

Try not to bother the Beefeaters.