The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our days with their brilliant -- but succinct -- wisdom. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up hilarious 140-character musings. For this week's great tweets from women, scroll through the list below. Then visit our Funniest Tweets From Women page for our past collections.
The Friend Zone sounds like a magical place where men constantly feel slighted and women are always in charge and I want to live there.
— Twitnter is Coming (@OhNoSheTwitnt) April 22, 2016
[White House about to make $20 bill announcement]
— Jillian Gutowitz (@jillboard) April 20, 2016
*Beyonce slowly starts standing up*
WHITE HOUSE: Harriet Tubman
*Beyonce slowly sits down*
Tinder but for finding a boyfriend with a pool who will leave me alone after Labor Day.
— KB (@KaraRBrown) April 18, 2016
My favorite kind of guy is one who admits he has "dad bod" but then has specific expectations of women's bodies.
— Andrée Vermeulen (@DreeAndree) April 18, 2016
I like to imagine when Bowie and Prince do live shows for all the departed souls, they’ll have security throw Antonin Scalia out.
— side-eye spice (@goldengateblond) April 21, 2016
first rapper to brag about having a fat stack of tubmans wins a prize
— alexis nedd (@alexisthenedd) April 20, 2016
How many versions of a capri pant do you think you will see in your lifetime? Wrong answer. The limit does not exist.
— Heben Nigatu (@heavenrants) April 20, 2016
you know you're getting older when the worst thing about someone spilling beer on you at a bar is when they don't apologize
— Emma Gray (@emmaladyrose) April 17, 2016
Happiness, ranked:
— Chloe Angyal (@ChloeAngyal) April 17, 2016
3. Graduation
2. Birth of first child
1. Woman you admire tells you, unsolicited, that you nailed your winged eyeliner
If Drake's future baby mama doesn't announce the pregnancy with a text that says, "If you're reading this, my period's late" she gotta go
— Brittani Nichols (@BisHilarious) April 20, 2016
"My kids love when I make quesadillas with this," I tell the cashier nervously as I buy a rotisserie chicken I plan to eat all by myself.
— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) April 19, 2016
BITCH BETTA HAVE MY TUBMANS
— Tracy Clayton (@brokeymcpoverty) April 20, 2016
Wish it was this easy with the emotional kind pic.twitter.com/XIXMUj4MTU
— alana hope (@alanalevinson) April 16, 2016
they turned the empire state building into a bloody tampon tonight in honor of donald trump, new york's own bloody tampon
— Joanna Rothkopf (@joannarothkopf) April 20, 2016
I've entered into that stage of adulthood where going into crate & barrel is dangerous
— Franchesca Ramsey (@chescaleigh) April 22, 2016
Menstruation, the original scapegoat
— Lux Alptraum (@LuxAlptraum) April 22, 2016
I'm exactly like a celebrity who's in a creative slump, except nobody knows who I am and I've never created anything ever
— beth likes cake, so (@bourgeoisalien) April 20, 2016
I want just enough enlightenment to be smug about being more enlightened than unenlightened people but not so much I'm above being smug.
— maura quint (@behindyourback) April 19, 2016
person: how was your weekend, mine was crazy
— audrey farnsworth (@audipenny) April 19, 2016
me: me too I cut my mouth on a chip two nights in a row, I am out of control
things we need drive thrus for: rotisserie chickens, sushi, oregon pinot noir, puppies
— lauren ashley bishop (@sbellelauren) April 16, 2016
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